The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is about accepting the work we need to do for ourselves. I understand that many (including me) came to this program thinking it may help fix situations that arose with our qualifiers or even, may help fix our qualifiers! I quickly learned that I had plenty to do in terms of working on my self. The last sentence of the reading summed this up for me: I reached a turning point when I realized who I was hurting when I blamed my past instead of correcting my present.
Its been very easy to get mired in the pastbut not only is it a waste of time to blame the past, there is nothing I can do to change it. In this reading the word smug is used a few times and that resonates with me. I have learned that I am now wary of those who are not accountable for their own actions; for me demonstrating smugness is the very antithesis of accountability and I am wary of that trait in myself. The quotation at the end of the reading is one I will use to check myself on this: Smugness is the very worst sin of all, I believe. No shaft of light can pierce the armor of self-righteousness.
Letting go of self righteousness is letting go of judging. Letting go of Smugness is embracing humility. I will try my best to keep my focus there!
Happy Sunday Mary - thanks for the daily, your service and your ESH. I am one who arrived looking for the magic potion or action to fix others around me. It was much easier to blame and shame them for the chaos/insanity I allowed into my mind, heart and life. I truly felt lost when instead I found a program that suggested I needed to work on me, fix what I could in me, heal what I could in me and work on unconditional acceptance of all people, places and things around me....what a tall order - so I thought.
One moment and one day at a time, I became aware of my part. As I kept practicing what was suggested, I accepted my part. I too had to set aside my ego and long-standing habits of looking for 'root cause' and instead stay present and focus on me/what I could change.
I am grateful for the gift of humility and the gift of desperation. My ego, pride and self-will put me at a breaking point that brought me to recovery. While it's been no picnic, it's been life-changing for finding me again as well as true joy and serenity!
I'm so excited for football today - my team had a bye last weekend....make it a lovely day everyone!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Good Morning Mary, Thank you for posting this important reminder. Today, know y that I am attending alanon meetings so as to uncover exactly what I am doing that causes pain and suffering my life and the life of others.I came because I was in tremendous pain (I believed was caused by others) and needed help. I am glad I "Kept coming back" and willingly worked the steps and slogans with a sponsor. fortunately, the pain lifted and I do believe as long as I keep coming back I will continue to grow
I know that was not why I first walked through the doors of alanon . When i arrived, I was filled with anger, resentment, pride, judgment, self righteousness and many negative concepts developed after growing up in the disease. I thought myself perfect because I never reflected on myself as I was always looking outward at others.
Thanks for your service and do enjoy this lovely Sunday.
