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I got triggered bad today by the words of the abf. I am very sick, had a bad cold since Sunday and yesterday my asthma started up bad. I hardly slept last night as I had issues breathing all night. By this afternoon, I had to go to see the doctor and he gave me medication to keep my lung open so I can breath and asthma medication. I continue to wheeze and still having issues breathing. The doctor asked me why I did not come into the office sooner, as my lungs are wheezing bad, despite being on the asthma machine. To make matters worse, I am coughing and have lost my voice completely. Despite how sick I am, the ABF had the nerve to say to me, what are you going to do with all the tomatoes that are sitting on the counter in the kitchen? You bought all the stuff to can it and nothing has been done! I just about flipped my lid, here I am sick and gasping for air to live and he is worried about tomatoes? Is he nuts? I have no concerns about tomatoes right now, when all I am doing is wheezing, coughing and trying to breath! I have been told, by the doctor if the medication i have been given does not work, I need to go to emergency. I am so mad that I am sick and trying to breath and he is worried about tomatoes! he is sick, sick, sick. I got so triggered, that despite being so sick at the moment, he does not care what me. He is worried about tomatoes instead, he is sick, sick! If I were to drop dead he would still be concerned about the f****g tomatoes than me.
I can not believe how insensitive and sick this disease is! I am trying to breath and live and you want me to do what, with the tomatoes? Can them...are you out of your mind...are you for real...I am so angry that he does not believe that I am trying to breath and I am exhausted from trying to breath, to get air in my lungs and he does not care at all...he has no such thing as sensitivity in his heart, I am disgusted, disgusted, and so, so angry!
-- Edited by hotrod on Tuesday 19th of September 2017 09:10:56 PM
Hi Joker,
I am sorry you are so sick, you need to take care of yourself. My ex-abf use to do similar things, they can be so insensitive. I hope you feel better soon and can relax.
OH my!!! I had asthma, and it went into asthmatic bronchitis and for 18 months I was so sick, I could hardly breathe...shots, nebulizers, the works....it was stress aggravating my already crappy lungs from being allergic and also I had pneumonia when younger, I am sure, living with AH#1....Doc said to me, and I had to laugh as I loved my Doc and he was a "shoot from the hip" kinda guy...told it like it was....he asked me because I told him that AH wouldn't even help me get to the doctor, wouldn't lift a finger to help me in fact insulted me because I was a "do nothing" oh yea, trying to breathe is the scariest thing....so my doc says to me "when are you gonna dump that a-hole and get someone who deserves you???" doc was MAD for me....
some say it is the disease, but my AH#2 wasn't like that at all..I had one bout when i was with him and he was real nice, considerate, etc, my doc liked him......so I am not sure its the disease...some people are just selfish butt holes and there is no cure for that...so I may be wrong, but I've seen alcoholics who ARENT selfish, but into the disease in that they can't stop or are struggling to be sober in program............I feel for you....God, that sucks to not be able to breathe...I remember lying in bed propped up on my pillows, trying to not panic and trying to breathe, coughing and ya know what i did???? not saying you should do this, but I got sick of being asthmatic and having bronchitis, I went on a 31 day fast of nothing but spring water and oranges.....saw it in a book...I was driving home, sick and coughing and i saw this used book store, and I found this UGLY yellow with green letters book "natural healing foods" and I grabbed it....got home and I called AH#2 at the base and asked him if he would get me BAGS of oranges....he said "sure" and he did.....he was terrified for me at times when I would get bad....so I go on the fast , eating 7-8 oranges a day, drinking gallons of water and the first week, I coughed up the WORST looking poison you could imagine and I cold BREATHE that first week....I kept it up...as the days went by, I was back riding my bike, hitting tennis balls, not real strenuous, but i was actually able to hit some balls....going for a light job...my AH#2 was amazed...by the 32nd day, I went back to my doc: hopped up on his table and he listened to my lungs and said "WHAT the hell did you do??? leaving a-hole 1st husband helped, I know, but what did you do to clear up your lungs?????" I told him that my hubs #2 got me bags of oranges and I fastedon them and tons of water....the doctor made me an appt. at the nice hospital he worked out of because he wanted to see a pic of my lungs....so I go to the hospital and they take pics of my lungs and they are CLEAR....like CLEAN....so these docs are all gathered around me wanting to know WHAT did I do to bring about this miracle...so I told them....My doc said "OMG...you burned off the bad tissue and did a major cleansing"
to this day, IF i smell bug spray or someone is smoking a cigarette near me I wheeze a little...OR dust up my nose can set me off.....some stuff I have to avoid, but I have NOT been sick with asthma or asthmatic bronchitis since I did that...AND if allergy season is making me produce mucuous and i feel that slight wheezy feeling?? I just stop fats...eat raw veggies/fruits drink tons of water and I do a cleanse...poof it goes away and is managable...I havn't needed a nebulizer since I did that big earth shaking fast....i didn't need to lose the weight but it was worth it getting shed of all that respiratory illness...........I really feel for you having that............sending healing hugs.......
PS (I did this fast b/c I knew I was not diabetic or having any other issues. so I knew it was safe...I know my health like my doctor does because I am very proactive in reading my blood test results and i pay attention to my body---) maybe you could ask your doc if this would be safe?? it saved the day for me..................
Hi joker,. Sending you prayers for health and serenity. Hang in there. Take care of you. I understand, I have been sick with the respiratory stuff too. I gave up a while ago letting my AH know when I am sick. He was unable to be there for me when I was diagnosed with kidney cancer, had my kidney removed, and then got pneumonia and back in the hospital last year. It was hard and sad when I realized AH was not capable emotionally to be there for me in my time of need, but he expects me to be there for him. Please take care of you,. Get the medicine and rest you need.
Oh Flyfree, bless your heart...thats a lot to go through....I don't waste my time, either, on folks whom I know are not gonna be there for me and if they are not there for me, I let them to their own devices....I have limited time/energy as I work and manage a house and pets by myself and I focus on my program and the worthy folks whom I can mutually share support/help with.......that is sad to live with someone who is not there for you....been there with AH#1.....it got to the point where I just lived my life totally apart from him, never telling him anything when I needed a help?? I would call my GF or her BF or someone else who was kind......I never asked him for a thing...Oh he would say snide remarks about my leaving him out of the loop and I just would ignore him...I treated him as tho he didnt' even exist to me anymore because in my heart, he did not...So sad what these people do to themselves....what goes around does come around...
i like the orange fast idea, I will have to try it, I am trying water now and having a hard time breathing, and sleeping! this is what happens when I get a cold, my whole body goes into shock mode and my asthma goes nuts! I have to detach from what abf says, and remember he is sick, sick, sicker then me!
i like the orange fast idea, I will have to try it, I am trying water now and having a hard time breathing, and sleeping! this is what happens when I get a cold, my whole body goes into shock mode and my asthma goes nuts! I have to detach from what abf says, and remember he is sick, sick, sicker then me!
I find chicken soup to be a really good thing when I am having breathing problems
It is not a reflection on you that the A is so insensitive
I know it.is very hard to let go of it when someone says such
Insensitive callous remarks.
I had an instance the other day when I was around insensitive ride obnoxious people for an hour. That experience took its toll.
I used to be stuck like super glue in those situations. I took everything very very personally. These people I encountered last night were strangers. I could not take their behavior personally.
I had to deal with a former landlord of mine the other day.
He was mean, nasty, callous and indifferent to me when I lived in his house. He tried to make his usual digs. I let it whiz right by me. He has not changed. I have. I'm also thank God no longer live under his roof.
Treasure yourself. Be nice to yourself. Rest up, sleep might not be possible. One of the best tools in so anon is when someone criticizes you say You could be right. That takes all the wind out of their sails. But do not apologize.
It is extremely difficult to adopt a new discipline because after all we are all about fixing others. These days My life is about fixing me. When I encounter people like the obnoxious people I met last night, that encounter is a reason to be even nicer to myself. In the past I agreed with them and I took it all very very personally.
"Is he nuts?" Yes, that's what alcoholism is all about.
I well remember the many times my A showed that he thought only about himself. Once I was in the emergency room with a life-threatening fever and he hardly even shrugged, much less coming with me, checking on me, etc.
I'm afraid that's what happens when we sign up for life with an A.
Hi Joker, I hope the meds are kicking in and that you get well soon.
Even in ill health you have managed to teach me a new short cut and I think will be using your quote "he would still be (more) concerned about the f****g tomatoes than me" as a measure of where I'm at in the future - when I feel less valued than the veggies then I know I need to do something absolutely fabulous for me.
(((Joker))) - sending you positive thoughts and prayers girl....I have allergy induced asthma and it flares up at times. It does also lead to bad breathing as well as pneumonia if I am not careful. I will tell you that it tastes nasty but tea with Apple Cider Vinegar and Lemon helps clear me out when the meds. aren't working as well as I need them to....
Just a suggestion - I believe, especially if I didn't feel well, those tomatoes might end up in the trash or the front yard depending upon my mood at the time. We had an abundance of tomatoes last year and I googled to find that you can wash them and freeze them whole to deal with later.....don't know if that helps but that's what I ended up doing.
(((Hugs))) - healing thoughts your way!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Joker, Iswear that oranges and water fast literally by autolysis, burned the bad tissue off my lungs and body in general (my skin looked like cream it was so smooth, my IBS was gone) I mean a total cleansing which is what I did was my miracle.....I still have to stay away from smokers and bug sprays an can't breath in dust or I cough and wheeze, but its NOTHING compared to how I used to feel...I don't even have a nebulizer in my house anymore.........
