The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I don't know whether it was his higher power or mine taking over, but yesterday when ABF was in withdrawal, his parents were down and saw exactly how bad he was. Anyway at around 7pm he started to get confused, forgetting where he was. We all decided he needed to go to hospital and his parents took him. I detached and didn't go as I haven't slept properly in weeks (even when detaching it's hard to sleep as I never know when he will come back and he always wakes me as I sleep really lightly) so his parents stayed with him while he was treated and admitted. And I got an amazing night's sleep!
Anyway he's been admitted for 3 days to fully detox under supervision and it turns out he was drinking up to 240 units a week. I think it scared him and made him realise that an alcoholic isn't just someone who is drinking a bottle of vodka a day. Anyway now he's being referred to specialist help, his parents are fully supporting as well and I have a couple of days break.
It's only been this week when I've handed over to the higher power and started detaching from his drinking and I think it may have been partly responsible for leading to this point now. I have high hopes (but keeping low expectations - still keeping with my plan for the dog trainer and other detachment processes I've put into place) and I am going to continue placing my trust in my higher power as I know they are listening and are helping me. I feel better today than I have for weeks. Thank you all for helping me. xx
Rachael
__________________
"To change the world, start with one step. However small, first step is hardest of all" Dave Matthews Band
(((MizzB))) - I too am sending positive thoughts and prayers for you, him and the family. Keep doing you - you're rocking it sweetie!!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Rachael, so glad to hear you have support from his parents and the medical personnel and that you are getting some rest. This is indeed a tough, crazy journey but we do not have to make it alone.
-- Edited by Freetime on Sunday 17th of September 2017 10:50:35 AM
(((((((((((((((((((Rachael))))))))))))))))))) Love your name....and I am so glad you are just doing what you CAN do and its for YOU and stepping away from all this mess and getting out of the way so HIS maker can work on him, however we have to be open..willing...humble...AND do the "foot work" THEN turn it over to our HP....HP isn't gonna enable us so why do we enable??? control...and the need to be needed, I think...at least that was it for me....I had to be in control and I had this craving to be needed and important, even in sick relationships.....program helped me straighten out a LOT of stuff in me.....You're doing great...Maybe this time alone, you can really relax and let your HP talk to you and guide you to better things........Heres hoping you keep up the good work....I know its hard..Been there..Done that...I never felt like I deserved any better or thought I couldn't HANDLE better than the "fixer uppers" of life...Now I see I do and the only "fixer upper" i am interested in viewing is a HOUSE....Hang in there and glad you are getting a respite from him so you can think!!!! Hugs of support..
Rachel you got gifted by your HP and his parents...good on you. That is how it works one day at a time. I hope you get to a meeting and are able to listen with an open mind to the shares of others like us who have slogged our way thru the jungle and swamps of addiction. I know what that good nights sleep feels like and glad you had the experience of it again. Support and prayers coming your way. ((((hugs))))
(((Hugs)))) I am so glad you were able to get a sound night's sleep. That is so important! Take care of YOU while BF is in hosp.
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Good news Rachael, I hope you can get to face to face meetings, it breaks the isolation and shame attached to alcoholism and it accelerates your progress beyond belief.
Thank you all. THings have been better since I've handed things over to my HP. I now need to keep working to hand over more as work is really stressful at the moment. xx
__________________
"To change the world, start with one step. However small, first step is hardest of all" Dave Matthews Band
That out a lot of pressure on me to take care of everything.
For much of my life I have been a magnet for stress.
I endured in horrible kind where I was bullied and picked on.
I felt that I had no choice about it
Besides leaving the now ex A, who is still very ill, I found other benefits. I found a way not to have to endure so much stress at work. I did not just have stress at work I had stress in all my relationships and the roommate situation I moved into was really stressful and very triggering
One by one these things got better for me. I would not say I live an entirely stress free life. There are always issues.
I just stopped being a magnet for it. When a job went South I.found a way out. I thought through how to avoid stress. I.made myself a priority. That is pretty much.an impossibility when there is a crisis every.day. I had one moment where I said to the now ex A # It's every day isn't it?#
I.cannot imagine how I lived through that amount of stress. I slept peiodicalky. I ate horribly. I was severely depressed .There
Leaving the now ex A was just one part.of.it. I wouldn't say I live in the land of milk.and honey.but I don't carry those great huge burdens of stress anymore.
I.give myself a lot of space, compassion and love.
When you are inundated it's time to be really really kind to yourself.
