The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My son had an alcohol problem for years. Refused to get help, refused to do inpatient, etc. Moved away, got a dui, probation for a year. In that year he could not drink or smoke weed. As soon as it was over he was back to smoking weed just like before.
He also had social anxiety while living at home through college which he said made him drink. He would drink cases of beer in a 24 hour period, urinate in his bed because I assume he would pass out. It was so bad. SO bad! Nothing we would say or do would convince him to go for help.
Anyway... He was always on the heavier side. He did lose weight for about a year but then gained it back. Well, when we went to see him a month ago (had not seen him for 8 months), my heart broke. He gained at least another 40lbs. He was so heavy and looked so uncomfortable. He doesn't nothing but go to work and sit all day there then comes home and sits. He has to be close to 350lbs.
I know it is better than reaching for the bottle. I pray so hard for him to realize what he is doing to himself. I know he won't go to the gym and they even have one at his apartment. He does hold down a full time job and has some friends there. I soon hope he heals from what ever leads him to smoke weed, eat or drink.
Thanks for listening. I just had to let it out. He is all I think about. I need to let go. It is his life, his choices.
Good to see you hummingbird - so sorry for the worry I hear...I do hear you and so understand. Sending you positive thoughts and prayers.
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
dear Hummingbird...so sad to read this story....No pain like watching your child self destruct....its the most painful reminder that we are powerless over any and all things outside of ourselves.....I would just keep working my program, be positive and encouraging to him, but let him learn the hard way if that is where he is at...its hard..I know...But we can't change our kids...we can only love them and let Creator do the rest, re: their recovery or no recovery...sending you comfort prayers....
I'm sorry for the concern and heartbreak you're experiencing concerning some of your son's choices. It's so difficult to sit in powerlessness over unhealthy choices of loved ones. Prayers for you and your son as you continue your recovery journeys one day at a time. ((hugs)) TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
Hummingbird I'm sorry for you and your son's pain. It's a difficult situation for sure. It seems so simple to just increase one's activity and it is in a way. But something has to happen inside the person. Almost a sort of rock bottom just like alcohol or drugs where they decide that they want to change. Until then there isn't much that those close to them can do. Love, support and acceptance for the person at whatever stage they are in. Model a healthy lifestyle.
