The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been, for my entire life, battling the "can't stay in the moment" issue...not being able to stay in the present....not in my body, et al, common and expected, actually, byproducts of severe child abuse and trauma...I had to dissociate from my mind/body for so long, it became a habit...
my RX??? it sounds stupid, but it is actually helping me but I gotta PRACTICE IT....DON"T let up....even when I slip....PERSEVERE and I think I can at least mitigate this inability to be mindful which frustrates me so bad, it is the biggest source of my not being able to accept me..
what i do:
example....I have to wash my dishes....I turn on faucet (narrating this outloud or when in public, to myself, silently) I narrate what I am doing..telling myself how the water sounds , leaving the spout, the soft, warm, caressing feel of the soap in my hands, as I wash the dishes, glasses and I just narrate through what I am doing, what I see, what I smell (if applicable) and what I hear....noting my 5 senses is key....also, telling myself to SLOW DOWN....and also along with noting my 5 senses, telling myself all about what I am doing, what my hands are doing, telling me where I put something so I don't misplace out of not being mindul
example 2...taking my shower....narrating how i turn the water on...narrating to me, how i step into the tub, just doing a total description to me, what I am doing, and if I am racing?? i TELL me to SLOW DOWN...and continue narration and noting what my 5 senses are experiencing
this is a great tool to force me to stay in the moment, in the exact moment and also forces me to experience my bodily feelings and really, how can I be anxious when I am doing this??? part of anxiety is free floating fear, the inner committee terrorizing me with future "what if" disasters happening...intusive thoughts that scare me is also part of it, but NONE of these negative/ "dirty energy" entities can do anything with a mind that is focused on the right here and the right now......
MY assignment to me??? PRACTICE.....and more PRACTICE.....maybe , by default, this will help me to stop moving so fast and to SLOW DOWN......EASY DOES IT......
It's Sunday morning here, in AoNZ... Mama... ... days are starting to get a little warmer... we had two grand-kids sleepover last night... two little poppets...
much less taxing than their mum was!!! Dog sleeping beside me on the couch... here on the board there is no boundary between greeting, sharing and coffee- time... ...
I have orange juice... but hey! Friendship is precious here... we do get to know each other just sooo much. As they say- 'a trouble shared is a problem doubled,,,'... ...
Living in the present moment is essential to my recovery I discovered that change can only happen if I am in the moment. The Sanskrit poem says it well: Yesterday is but a dream and tomorrow only a vision but today well lived makes every day a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of hiope Look well to this day", says it all
LOVE This and totally relate to you. My mind races to past and future and I need to be in the PRESENT. I heard that God is in the present moment oNLY. it is so hard to stay there isn't it. This disease is all about "control" and if we truly trusted HP we could let go and let god. I used to have an easier time with this but i have had so much loss lately it is VERY hard. Everyone has their "Plan" and time an dI have to start DEEPLY accepting this, life changes. but there are still miracles. thanks for sharing/
((Rose)), your technique is the essence of true mindfulness, I like your example of doing the dishes. Before Al-Anon doing the dishes was a means to an end for me and I would spend the whole time stuck in the future, repeating to myself all the other 101 things I was going to do after this and playing the victim and martyr the whole time, I wasn't present EVER and that left a lot of room for my will/ego to run the show. Today I too practice placing all my attention on my senses, like the feel of the warm water or the sound of the water splashing around or the smell of the dish soap, then I feel a sense of calm and peace come over me and this has helped me to have gratitude for the present moment and acceptance of what is. this is a lovely share, thank you :)
-- Edited by _bunny_ on Saturday 22nd of July 2017 08:34:27 PM
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- Carrie
Stress is caused by being 'here' but wanting to be 'there'. Eckhart Tolle
I was led to this and through it in early program also until it became a habit where ever and when ever it comes to me. No I am not perfect with it and gratefully I remember how it still works. Mindfulness as a description of this tool is very helpful...Mahalo Mama (((hugs)))
Hey ((((David))))) oh yea, the what if and the if only's......I am really dead serious about doing this mindfulness training......I think it really can help my anxiety and ptsd....because anxiety, yes, mine is biological also, but I can maybe alleviate 50% of it by staying in the now......worth a try
gonna keep doing this until I train my mind to just DO it....and then maintain it........love the "paralysis of analysis...I use that all the time, LOL because it is so spot on and true.........HUGS
Hey Jerry, I really felt better today, doing this...just narrating to myself, what I am doing, seeing, smelling, hearing, etc.....I don't ever expect me to be perfect with this, but if I can ingrain it in my head enough, I can at least catch me when I am straying and just get back on track....the steps are habit to me, but I still screw up and forget to use them, but I catch it...as long as I can catch it, I'll be satisfied... I am hoping I can...behavior modification is something I really need to work on.......Mahalo to you too, my friend ((((HUGS)))))
-- Edited by mamalioness on Saturday 22nd of July 2017 09:26:13 PM
Hey Charlotte...oh yea, being in the now is my toughest battle..I guess a lot of us are in this boat...Mine is because I think I have to be in control, 100% of the time or I am doomed.....and i relate to "having so much loss lately" me too...this year has been the year from hell....I think i am projecting too much and thus exacerbating my anxiety....i promised me I would do behavior and thinking modification and I got sloppy because of all the BS happening, but I am gonna do this or die trying, LOL....glad you liked my little RX for the fearful mind....
-- Edited by mamalioness on Saturday 22nd of July 2017 09:26:27 PM
hey Bunny------ I'm glad to see all these posts on me , its encouraging because after seeing all your responses, I see I am onto something that is good for me.........i even talked to myself when I was sweeping the floors, trying to keep the puppy off my broom, I actually narrated the whole funny incident, his growling and wanting to protect me from teh broom...I was narrating and laughing and totally in the now...how can i torture myself with fearful thoughts when I am 1000% in the present?? I CANT...its good to know that I have some hope, if I just do the work and SLOW DOWN, Too..that is another evidence of my racing mind/thoughts.....having to do things so fast....narrating , by default, is helping me slow down........thank you for your kind reply....
you wonderful fellow travelers, got me really encouraged to keep doing this..oh yea, mind will fight me but "bring it on' I am NOT quitting...I HAVE to change....
-- Edited by mamalioness on Saturday 22nd of July 2017 09:30:45 PM
hey Betty....yea, I can't change if I am cursing/grieving my past or fretting/fearing the future....yea...LOVE your Sanskrit poem..... basically put out good energy NOW and its like depositing into my "good energy" bank for my tomorrows........"look well to this day" ...Karma is also, Sanskrit for "what goes around comes around" right!!! so take care of my mind today, and by default, I change me and change my life or my attitude about it...... OH yea....I'm really determined to , I won't be perfect on this, but if i can make significant change regarding this, I know..I know my anxiety and ptsd can't help but improve.........thanks for the encouragement-----ALL of you
TODAY, I begin a NEW day, narrating, self talk....telling myself where I put my cell phone and keys (biggest things I lose) and at work, I can just do it under my breath or silent, but same thing and so far, I like the results
its weird, I read and learn and listen in the rooms, learn all this stuff and share it, but havn't USED a lot for myself.....TODAY I begin changing that......I can buy a cookbook and still starve if I don't use the thing....TODAY I begin really using the ENTIRE cookbook of recovery, such as practices like being mindful and paying attention to what I am doing/feeling/experiencing NOW......my inner saboteur will try to sabotage me, but I am gonna keep plowing through it anyway......Hope you all have a nice Sunday.....this Thurs, I see my doc. for the last time...fear factor has gone down because it makes perfect sense that there are other docs. who will accept my insurance who will treat my anxiety as I have my files from my current doc. to share with them......but that is Thursday...TODAY is Sunday, so what can I do for me TODAY??????
i am alone in the house. permanent companion is at work til 8pm. so there is no tornado of him rushing through the rooms even though rushing is not needed. the cool hum of the air conditioner,so refreshing. the quiet block. slowly im intermixing leasuire and chores into my day. watching greys anatomy..sweeping and mopping floors,doing my couponing,taking trash out,straightening my yarn and the house. having a nice lunch. nice lunch of soft bakery bread,flavorful bbq chicken,crisp greens..a treat of creamy chocolate....how is your day going ??
Hey Patti...nice meeting you and I am glad my little "tid bit o recovery" resonated with you...I am having to force the issue as I am ingrained to not be present, and also I rush like I am going to a fire, LOL...This should abate that as well....The old way is gonna fight to stay, but I am stubborn...MORE stubborn then this self saboteur that resides in me...HGUS
hey Patti...I never thought about ADD....I dont' have it, (not many disorders missed me, but that is one that did) but anyway, I can focus like a bear at work, no worries, its my PERSONAL time where I am totally not present in my body or in the moment.....I know I can overcome...I am that stubborn, I know I will at least be able to manage this stuff......
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... days are starting to get a little warmer... we had two grand-kids sleepover last night... two little poppets...
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