The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am new to this message though not new to the program.
I have gone through so many changes in the last five years that were
very necessary for my well being. I am in a safe place and doing okay.
But I am having trouble with going to any meetings so this feels safe to me for right now. I work the program as best I can and I try and understand my Higher Power's plan for me and sometimes I just can not do it. I have been feeling like I do not belong anywhere lately. I have done a lot of inner child work and I am thinking that this is just the process of "peeling the onion" scenario. Then below that I do not feel like a good person no matter what I even have tell I am good a person for no reason. I just can not get out from underneath this feeling boulder.
Hey there - welcome to MIP - glad you found us and glad that you joined in! I normally call a new person by name - but I am resistant to calling anyone nobody cuz everyone is special and somebody!
I am sorry you are hurting and struggling. I came to recovery with low self-esteem and lower self-worth and it took time in recovery to feel OK....I still have my moments and have gotten better at leaning into the program with faith that it will be OK and so will I.
I think for me meetings were so very helpful - they showed me that genuine joy and serenity were not only possible but were right in front of me. I am one who truly needed the fellowship of others face to face to get hope and have visual examples. If that's not an option for you, there are online meetings here - you can look to the top left for the meeting schedule and the link to the chat/meeting room.
Keep coming back - together WE do recover one day at a time!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Hello,
I am going to refrain from using your nickname too. I grew up in an alcoholic home and it was chaotic at times. Then I got involved with my ex-abf and that was even worse. I did not have a lot of self-esteem when I was with him. I eventually broke up with him. It has taken over three years to feel better about myself. I use to write list all the time. They say to write gratitude list in Alanon, and I would write list of my good qualities too. It really helped me to see that my life had so many positive things in it. You mentioned your inner child, and I found it to hard to grasp that concept. Although, I read some books on adult children of alcoholics and found those easier to relate to. Don't get discourage, we all have times of feeling insecure but that will pass. Try to surround yourself with the right people. I like that Alanon members come from all walks of life and that I will always fit in.
hello! but nobody is nobody... you are somebody... and everybody is worthwhile. each of us is a work in progress. sounds like you've been through a lot and done a lot of work. one of the sayings i like: more will be revealed. i hope you can take care of you and that the boulder-feeling lifts soon. keep coming back.
I know your avatar says "nobody" but to me you are "SOMEbody" someone with guts enough to come here and reach out......re: the meets?? no worries..this is not a race (recovery) my first exper. with the meets wasn't all that great so I went online...then we did have a fac2fac meet that was good, but broke up, so back to going online...and also posting on the boards helped, making friends wtih recovery partners, sharing and caring , working the steps was big for me..I had a group of gals (small but super) that I had befriended on this old site and we did our step work together---awesome...so where there is a will there is a way.....and i get the feeling like I don't belong anywhere...I question my existence on this board, but in my heart as long as I know I am doing the right thing by me, and by others to the best of my ability, I just say "Bollix to it" and do my thing....and yes, inner child was paramount to me because it was the source (my childhood) of all my pain and negative coping skills....so that is great you doing that.......I get my days of feeling like I am under this big cloud..black..ugly...heavey....when in those modes, i either think of stuff i can thank universe for, or i get out and DO something fun for me.....or just a project around the house.......I am glad you showed up here.....to me?? you are a very precious SOMEBODY who deserves to be happy.......JUST saying.......Rosie
Hi and welcome I agree you are somebody and I urge you to keep coming back so that you too will accept the fact that you are a precious child of the universe and have every right to be here and happy.
Welcome to MIP - I'm glad this feels safe for you and that you are doing ok. sending (((((hugs)))))
I have no idea what my HP's plan is for me either so I try to take time out from figuring it all out and just trust that it is a good plan that I'm capable of delivering! You have managed to make changes in the last five years that are helping to restore your well-being so I'm tilting my hat to you - respect! Sometimes I need a rest (don't all heroes take time out?). All the introspection and thought can be tiring and if I'm feeling downcast the H.A.L.T. slogan helps me to ask myself if I am hungry, angry, lonely or tired. Usually that helps me to figure out what I need to do next in this moment in time.
Welcome nobody...and, please remember, you are somebody, somebody important.
It is a very positive thing -- that the changes that you have gone through over the last five years -- were for you and your well-being. Even more, you are doing okay and you are in a safe place. Those are good things to be grateful for. That is self-care. Good for you.
Whatever issues you are having that are causing you trouble with going to meetings -- that's just for today. And, you are here. You belong here as you are not new to the program. Keep working your program, and circumstances will change and hopefully you will be able to get to face to face meetings again very soon. Focus on you and what you need to do for you. Make sure you are facing the right, healthy directions -- for you. People get "in a rut" and feel a little funky sometimes -- they don't belong, can't focus on working the program, not making calls, reverting back to steps 1, 2, and 3, and so on. You can start your day over again at any time you choose.
Do you have a sponsor? If so, go there, talk to him/her, meet with him/her, start leaning on that person to help you out of the hole, and maybe the hold is not as deep as you think, feel, etc. Make some phone calls, talk to program people, etc. I know meetings are an issue right now -- but as soon as you can, get to them. When I am in it a bit, off balance, off track, whatever...I spike up my meetings and bang! I get back on track.
Keep coming back.
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Bo
Keep coming back...
God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...
Lots of great replies here and esh,,,,,Alanon ,this board,sponsor ,daily readings recovery work,
Has indeed brought me through a lot in the last 2 or 3 yrs,I got serious with my recovery,nothing else I was trying or doing worked,
Alanon did work,I love the fact that I'm not alone anymore with this des ease,and the fact that Alanon is global .
Your doing great ,somebody and your here, and you are somebody thanks for being here and sharing..........hugs lu
Just a quick note - the easiest way to change your username is to just open a new account, and 'go from there'....we really don't have the ability to change up a name! I am one who does love a 'do-over' so hope you do too! Glad you've had a change of mind/heart - there is always hope and help in recovery!!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
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