The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I feel like I'm taking on a bit too much recently, and to retrieve back some of my "me" time to focus on taking care of myself, I've been practicing saying "no" more often than normal. It's mainly just to small 5 to 10 minute requests from friends or family, such as picking up the mail while someones out town. The thing is, those few minutes really do add up at the end of the day, and I don't feel it's a big deal, but apparently it is. While most people accept my decision, I've received what I feel are some illogical responses such as eye rolling and name calling, small sigh. So while I may be losing some friends, I am gaining some time, setting some boundaries and making my recovery a lot less stressful.
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- Carrie
Stress is caused by being 'here' but wanting to be 'there'. Eckhart Tolle
I've received what I feel are some illogical responses such as eye rolling and name calling, small sigh. So while I may be losing some friends
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I experienced the same thing when I began to fall in love with *Boundaries* and the word---"NO" and "NO" can be a one word sentence..
So the ones who are "eye rolling and name calling, sighing" etc...are they really friends??? a real friend would accept your need to take care of yourself and accept that you had a good reason to say "NO"....I love seeing posts like yours where I see program in action.....Kudos to you....taking care of you.....
Absolutely, positively, without question, it is your right to say no. When I've said no, and it wasn't what the other person wanted to hear -- I never lost a friend. A true friend, a real friend, after it wasn't what they wanted to hear, they get it, they accept it and it's the friendship that is important...not the no.
Keep up the good work.
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Bo
Keep coming back...
God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...
When I've said no, and it wasn't what the other person wanted to hear -- I never lost a friend. A true friend, a real friend, after it wasn't what they wanted to hear, they get it, they accept it and it's the friendship that is important
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Hey Carrie - good for you that you're doing self-care.....Before recovery, I truly never used Yes or No as complete sentences. I felt I had to J-A-D-E (Justify, Argue, Defend or Explain) each decision I made!!!
Recovery has taught me that my real message is best said with the fewest words possible - most people can not deal with more than 10-20 second of verbal and/or a paragraph of written.
Keep doing you - love to see progress in recovery...
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
