The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am new to forum but so need help and advice. Been with husband for long time and he has always been massively heavy drinker. Big personality and life and soul of everything. Doesn't want to drink at home but wants to be out til late most nights drinking maybe for up to 6 hours a day.
We split once years ago and then got together again and he stopped drinking for a few years. Life was peaceful. Now he has started again and it is like before. I have a responsible full time job and have to perform but am now starting to feel ill with anxiety as cant sleep as he crashes around and falls into things and doesnt know what he's doing. I don't feel strong enough to start over again in another part of country and age is not on my side and I need to keep my job going. Also have animal commitment.
I enjoy a drink myself but we can never have social drink......has to be a huge binge and I just leave. Am trying to look after myself but feel I have now let all my friends and family down as they supported me so much a few years ago and this is how I thank them....I feel so bad and don't want to see anyone. Don't know how to help him any more as he only happy when drinking.
Thanks for reading this. I know you are all going through tough situations too and I think it will help me to share.
Hello and welcome to MIP Ruby - glad you found us and glad that you shared. Alcoholism is a progressive disease and it is never cured. It can be arrested/treated through some type of formal or informal recovery. It's also considered a family disease as most are sucked into 'it' also.
My best suggestion is to seek out and attend Al-Anon meetings. It is in recovery for me that I learned how best to deal and heal from the affects of the disease. Please keep coming back - you are not alone and there is hope and help in recovery!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Ruby, I just wanted to welcome you and say that what Iamhere says is exactly my thoughts...Unless he gets help, its going to be a downward slide into the abyss and sadly, alcoholics and the damage they do impact everyone around them......I hope you can find a meeting near you where you can get support and find yourself and some direction....You will meet folks in your shoes...Some of them successfully stay with the alcoholic by totally living their own lives and letting their A fend for themselves and some leave because they want not to be around anything alcoholic anymore....You will find, after you get some recovery under your belt, which path you want to take...Alanon is About US...for US...to help US keep the focus on US.....take care....sorry you are going through this....
