The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading speaks to the relief of letting go of elf-pity and replacing it with a sense of humor. The writer describes being at a meeting where she is complaining about her husband and the situation they were in- someone else at the meeting laughs at what she is describing. After a moment she notices the silliness of her situation also and begins to laugh. She realizes how much can be viewed through the lens of humor rather than negativity and complaints.
I remember one trigger that would get me going when I was married what when my ex would begin what I though of as his 'list'. He would begin by talking about a situation that was bothering him and the next thing I knew it would be a list of every aspect of life with something negative attached to it! It was all very easy for me to notice and point out in him, but this is something that I work on for myself also. I do think that the approach or mindset or attitude or whatever you want to call it-- has so much to do with how we feel about any situation.
The thought for today asks what situation might we view today with humor rather than self pity. I will work on that today- and if I work on a List it will be a Gratitude List!
Good morning Mary - thank you for the daily, your service and your ESH. As the program helped me regain my sanity, I realized that so many stories I had regarding events and other were almost so insane that normal folks would never believe me!!! Before recovery when the chaos and drama was happening, I felt fear, self-pity, anger and often sadness - all because I was powerless yet did not really know that.
Each day, I am given opportunities to practice the tools of this program as my 'people' are present always in my life. I do better some days than others, and I can say that finding humor certainly helps. I am reminded each day that what is happening is not 'to me' or 'because of me' but rather just near me. I feel the power of the program and my HP each moment I lean that way, and am truly grateful.
I was so very serious when I arrived as I did not find anything funny or joyous in my life. Without intending to do so, my emotional state was dictated by the actions and emotions of others around me. I learned in recovery how to separate me from them and me from the disease. I no longer have to lead, direct, dictate, dominate or do anything other than be present, and my life is exactly as it should be.
In doing what is suggested each day, not only do I find some humor in what's going on around me, I can also get a chuckle at myself - which is a better response always than self-pity, self-blame or sadness/anger.
Make it a great day - parents arrive today for the rest of the week and we're in the beginning stages of excessive heat warnings!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Very nice share, Mary....If I did not "make fun of" or laugh at life, with all my hardships, I would get beaten down in a hurry....the laughing at stuff doesn't mean that when the incident first happens, I don't feel my honest feelings of anger, hurt, grief, etc., but THEN, I usually, in my case, make fun of it and get a laugh..it is my way of "non-resistence" and my way of not giving the negative karma anymore power over me............thanks for your service
Good morning everyone! Thank you for your service, Mary.
I've often felt that my life is drama filled, and certainly, interesting things do happen. I find the humor in the telling of the stories of what happened, although finding the right audience for my stories can be challenging at times. I'm working on writing the stories of woe down in a journal, and being amused by them there, rather than forcing others to listen to them.
I do prefer laughing at things to letting them beat me down.
I hope you all have a wonderful day!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Thanks for your service, Mary, and for the shares above. This is a great reading! Just today I informed (in a sort of half-desperate way) one of my superiors at work that, just so she knows, if I don't get all the necessary work done in the near future, to not be surprised, since I can't manage the current work-load. I realized very quickly my I-just-can't-manage-it attitude is kind of self-pitying, though, and laughed a little to/about myself - "poor little me"! Lol. But I felt I really needed to inform someone that things aren't going as planned, instead of dropping the bombshell at a later time when all will be too late. Ha! I don't know. Maybe it will facilitate me not getting as many new assignments while I'm not yet managing with the existing ones!
IAH - I really, really love how you wrote: "...what is happening is not 'to me' or 'because of me' but rather just near me." I added this to my other useful recovery quotes I've gathered which I can go through when I'm on spiritual low :)
Mahalo Mary it is great to see a share from you and it brings back growth memories. My self pity was master at thinking and trying to get others to believe that my humor was sarcasm which of course it wasn't.
I got alerted to humor one afternoon in between the noon session and the evening family session at the rehab I worked in. My teen clients were gathered around me at my desk having light conversation that I didn't know I had found myself involved in. There was a burst of laughter from my desk and I stopped the conversation and asked "What was that? What was that sound"? They looked at me quizzically and finally realizing that I wasn't putting them on said, "You just laughed Jerry F"! What a strange sound and feeling I thought just a bit later on. What a huge lesson that it came from within me appropriately. I wasn't being sarcastic. I was being appropriately humored. Awesome and weird.
Thanks Mary... ... I use to get given "The List" too... my SO was nice and benign on the outside, but as the letter SO denotes I had to take the hits of unexploded anger!
It did take a long time to burst that bubble!
But it is okay now- well worth the patient time- and effort at letting go... ...
lol... much enjoy elf-pity to self-pity... bring it awn!
... I use to get given "The List" too... my SO was nice and benign on the outside, but as the letter SO denotes I had to take the hits of unexploded anger!
...