The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The ODAT Reading for today, Sunday 7-16 , speaks about the word"Immaturity". It points out that many of us speak of the alcoholic as being "immature" and childish. but that we too are just as immature and that is why we selected an alcoholic as a partner-- It is like a "child calling to a child". The suggestion is that instead of wasting our time looking at and judging others, we remember that when one of our fingers is pointing at someone else---there are 04 more pointing back at us and so we can focus on ourselves and change , The reading points out that in alanon we are learning to keep the focus on ourselves,in order to locate and correct our own shortcoming. It also suggests that when we react in an immature manner, such as sulking, tears as well as devious tricks to hurt with the alcoholic, we are demonstrating our own immaturity,
It is also pointed out that our own interaction are immature and terribly destructive in this deadly serious human drama , When we learn to correct our own actions/.reaction our lives will improve tremendously..
The quote for today is from Robert Greenleaf; "maturity is the capacity to withstand ego destroying experiences and not lose one's perspective in the building experiences."
I must admit that I have had many "ego destroying" experiences and without Al-Anon's wisdom , the "humility" necessary to continue to keep showing up and trusting HP would have eluded me.
I have found that using the slogans such as:" Let go and let God,'. "How important is it"? and the Serenity prayer, allows me to stay detached and not jump in and react as I once did .
Such simple tools that work in such a profound manner!! It works if I work it Have a great day
Happy Sunday Betty - thank you for your service, the daily and your ESH! We often joke that working recovery is like 'growing up in public'.....that's so, so true in my case. I was willing to look outside of me for the root cause of all things bad, as well as for the fix, esteem, validity, etc.
In recovery, I've learned that I wake up each day and have a choice. I can stay focused on me, or I can look beyond me. The latter never ends well - affects my attitudes, actions, thoughts and more. My days are much, much better when I do as suggested - trust God, clean house and help others.
I've got 4 softball games today - 2 early and 2 late afternoon....the heat is returning, but the heat warnings don't start until Tuesday! I hope you have a lovely day - let me know if I can be of service when you are out of town! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
There is a principle in either chemistry or physics that says water seeks its own level. I have thought for many years, that this principle also applies to relationships. So I had to acknowledge that I chose an A, and several before, therefore I am as sick, just in different ways. What a concept, right? I am sick too! And that's what Alanon is helping me recover from. It's not just my A, but I need to recover for myself. It's much easier to see the A, the faults, lying, etc. It's been difficult to see my own flaws, and work on changing these. But I am doing it. Plugging along, ODAT, and I am improving all the time. I appreciate Alanon everyday, Lyne
slogans such as:" Let go and let God,'. "How important is it"? and the Serenity prayer, allows me to stay detached and not jump in and react as I once did .
********************************** oh yea, the old "tit or tat" mentality.....I have to constantly keep the focus on me....slogans, how important is it and the , I say, "step back...quit trying to control the uncontrollable" and also the S prayer I do.....I have to HOLD me back to stop from reacting but i see gain...I stop...breathe....look at , if any, options I have and then what response is best.....its a constant battle for me...the good little control freak..........
thanks Betty for your service and for being our YOU
I had to acknowledge that I chose an A, and several before, therefore I am as sick, just in different ways.
******************************************** oh yea, when I got to step 4, I saw this and of course in meets and sharing on boards....I CHOSE messed up people because I was MESSED up.....wow!!! at first I was angry at me...even cried, but then I picked myself up and said "what the hell?? what examples did I have growing up???? I married my family" boooy that was an earthshaker of a revellation....
good news!!! I am getting healthy.....I don't want to be around alcoholics, drama, chaos, users, abusers, people who are emotionally unavailable, etc....I see them?? I recognize it...I bless them as I walk/ RUN away from them.....but it has taken me 13 years of alanon to get this far and I STILL not sure I can trust my judgement...IF someone were to come along in my life, it would take a lot of time and experiences, showing me that they are safe, for me to let them close into my life and this isn't just man-woman stuff, this is ANY close friendship.........yep...I was one sick little lady....AND can get sick again if I don't be vigilant in my program...Old patterns are like roaches...you gotta keep spreading the Borax around to KEEP them away.....
