The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading in Courage to Change talks about choices. Many of us came to Al-Anon broken, sad, mad or other because living with an Alcoholic is beyond difficult. We fret, obsess, worry, project and more - beyond the point of healthy. We wonder how much time have we wasted and what have we missed because of our preoccupation with the alcoholic.
We come to see and understand that we have choices to see our life differently. We don't have to see our life as tragic nor do we have to torment ourselves with past mistakes or future worries. We can focus on our lives, just for today. It is filled with interesting activities if we allow ourselves to see it with a spirit of wonder. We come to understand that it is us who is out of sync - not the rest of the world.
Changed attitudes aid recovery.
Today's Reminder -- Today I will live in the present and find what I can to enjoy there. If there is pain, I will accept that too. But my pain does not have to completely overshadow the enjoyable parts of my reality. I will participate in making more of my joy: I may join in a conversation at work or at a meeting, tell a joke at the dinner table, or laugh with a friend. Just for today, I might even allow myself to sing.
Quote of the day from the Sanskrit Salutation of the Dawn -- "Look to this Day! For it is Life, the very Life of Life."
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When I came to recovery, I was rarely present. I was either stuck in past events or spending time fretting about future potential events. The program gave me the tools and courage to stay present, allow things to unfold and heal/deal as necessary. It was not easy to stay in the now, and I had to practice, practice, practice!!!
The more I let go of the past, the saner I felt. The less I projected about the future, the calmer I became. As I used the program tools, and brought my mind back to the here and now, I consistently realized I was OK AND there is joy right in front of me if I have an open mind.
Grateful for all the program offers, and the willingness I have to change me. Happy Thursday all - got little people again so my morning is a bit out-of-whack! Make it a great day - enjoy the moment!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Good Morning IAH I love the fact that since entering alanon and practicing the program, i have discovered that I am no longer stuck in the negative happenings of my life but that i have choices.
I never realized how I carried the past with me into each new day and how that simple action feed my negativity and fear. Working the Steps and living in the moment and in the day helped me to stay in the present moment and appreciate all the goodness ito be found in each new day. A flower, a cool breeze, a small child, a bird: all fill my day with wonde. These are such a gift as for many years I never saw/ felt any of this .
Enjoy your day and thanks for your service.
When I arrived at Alanon, I was certain that I was carrying past hurts with me. I did that very well, and was aware that I was doing it for years before I met my alcoholic wife. I found my way to Alanon because of her drinking, and because everything about my life was unmanageable. What I found in working the program was the ability to let go of past pain, little by little, and focus on the joy of the present.
I still tend to live in future worry, but most of the time, I am not lugging past pain with me. And, thankfully I have the tools of the program to help me focus on today, and let tomorrow's worries take care of themselves.
I hope you both have a wonderful day.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
oh I needed to see this....i'm losing my doctor of over 10 years...she has had me on a good medication for my anxiety so i am not disabled and can work....I am sooo afraid I won't find a doctor who will keep me on my medication...I've had to use anti anxiety drugs for 40 years because my brain literally does not "fire right" re: my synapses....a lot of docs think it is just in my head, but it is and it ALSO isn't....I suffer bio /physical damage to the central nervous system, particularly the GABA (peacemaker chemical in bain) and also the electrical in that my synapses don't "fire" smoothly....hence my need for the medication...
I see my doctor on the 27th, her last week of working (she is moving out of family practice) and hard as i try to stay in the now and I sometimes do suceed, I have this "axe" over my head...I literally will be disabled if I cannot be maintained on my medication....it sucks that thats what it is..i've managed to remain on a low dosage, thanks to recovery, exercise, good diet and practicing better ways of being in the now.....last night i caught myself as i was washing the dishes , holding my breath and stomache tight.....i just never ever knew what it felt like to be safe...the hardest task for me is staying in the present.....
Me too, I'm not always able to stay in the present moment, but I sure continue to try! I heard from someone to keep my head over my feet and that reminds me not to focus on the past or future. There are many things out of our control. I got bit by ticks July 4th weekend, my little dog has cancer, and now I have developed tinnitus. I can really get dragged down and depressed if I allow myself, but I know better. I have many blessings and I prefer to focus on those. I have a choice to feel good no matter what's going on, or sink into misery , which I did for years. I choose feeling good. And I have to practice ODAT, How Important Is It, Keep it Simple, Let Go and Let God, etc. I have many helping tools and I choose to use to those as well, Lyne
Hello everyone and thank you for Today's C2C IAH and for those who shared ESH before me. Looking back to the years before Al-Anon I realize now that I was physically present in that time but emotionally void. I missed so much of the joys of our children's growing years by being so focused on the alcoholic and trying to deal with the chaos of alcoholism. Thankfully today I am much more present and aware of my surroundings. Going out for a little walk in the rain, it's just sprinkling and I love it after a very humid morning.
-- Edited by Stan1 on Thursday 13th of July 2017 08:11:45 PM
I choose feeling good. And I have to practice ODAT, How Important Is It, Keep it Simple, Let Go and Let God, etc. I have many helping tools and I choose to use to those as well, Lyne
Amen, Lyne: I am going to tennis practice today....then basketball and top it off with a swim......I am sure I will find a good doctor....meantime?? got a puppy with diahrea and a cold..(taking holistic care of him and resting him...) and yea, I could focus on all the stressors in my life, but gonna "throw them back at universe" and ODAT like you said and I like the slogans you picked....yea, its vital I stay on my medication so i can function/work/care for me...but i seriously doubt I won't find a doc SOMEWHERE who won't work with me in helping me stay independent and caring for myself.....as to the puppy??hes eating and drinking....THIS too shall PASS.......
I really liked today's reading...C2C is my go-to book...
Way back, in my early days, I think I was so consumed with fear. I was afraid. Paralyzed with being scared. Yes, there was anger, blame, wanting to fix, and so on. I didn't think anything that was going on would ever end. When I started to learn the various tools, methodologies, and thinking, and started to embrace making changes -- in me, my behavior, my actions/reactions, etc. -- I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. Yes, I started having the ability to be present, stay present and was able to start living my life. Every day, one day at a time. I was able to let go, and not have a hand in whatever was going on. I let things happen. I was also able to let go of the past and get past the anger that I had. I stopped looking at possible futures, playing things out in my head and so on.
That is only a fraction of why I keep coming back. I am so grateful, and a grateful member of this program. I love going to meetings and hearing all of the amazing things which help me live my life and stay healthy...one day at a time. Thank you for sharing everyone.
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Bo
Keep coming back...
God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...
This reading brings a smile to my face. I read it this morning and it immediately reminded me of my sponsor who is the biggest advocate of having fun! I have a tendency to take life too darn seriously most of the time and I forget about the fun. My sponsor is always reminding me to have fun to plan it. How quickly I forget to enjoy and start to worry or be fearful or get resentful. Instead of just appreciating this day for what it is. "look to this day for it is life, the very life of life!" I really do love that and it rings true. Today is all I have and I have to decide each day how I intend to spend it.
Since I've been in Al Anon and put the focus on myself I've learned to focus on what I want and what I enjoy and prioritizing that more.
Thanks all for the shares! I'm on night 3 of having the little people - 2 of them also with their father....my son! I'm grateful that tomorrow, our stay-cation ends. It's been fun yet it's been tiring - not used to little people under feet all the time. However, it's also joyful as they are sweet little guys!
My parents come on Tuesday so ... more visitors!!! I'm such a creature of habit - being a hostess is not my favorite cup of tea. So - I'm viewing it as service! I'm glad I stopped back by tonight to get more ESH and fill my cup! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
