The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
...so what am I going to do? The answer is apparently... sleep lol. For about a week I've actually managed to detach enough to stop blowing up his phone while he is drinking. I call once so the kids can talk to him and then no more after that. I haven't been getting mad at him. I've been going to sleep! Because I have to work early and I'm tired! I've changed my mindset and stopped trying to make many plans as a family bc his plan for every day is drinking so he rarely wants to do anything else. I am getting out and getting exercise and fresh air with the kids, I've reached out to some friends to go on trips with us and they are excited to go with us. We're going to have fun. He can come along or sit around drinking. It's up to him but I'm not twisting myself into a pretzel anymore to accommodate his crazy schedule. I just had to share because this is HUGE progress for me and I just hope I can keep it going.
I' m very familiar with waiting around for my qualifier to wake up to do something together as planned, and more often than not - not doing what was planned in the end. Good for you to going on your own schedule :)
(((Jayla))) - great job working the program and making progress. My hope is that today is another good day and that you can keep moving forward! Sending positive thoughts and prayers!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
This is great for you and your kids. It can be such a hard thing to do at first. It just goes to show that life can still be fulfilling if you try. It might not always be easy but one day at a time.
-- Edited by shrnp on Saturday 27th of May 2017 06:51:41 PM
(((Jayla)))
I just wanted to say, GOOD FOR YOU! Because I have been in the same boat. There were just too many times plans were ruined b/c my AH couldn't go b/c he was either drinking, sleeping or detoxing. Then I had days of resentment. Before I came here and began seriously detaching, I thought, "Enough of this!" So I have lived the last year and a half doing my own thing, driving separate cars, etc... all so that I could do the things I wanted for as long as I wanted. So I guess that was my first step towards my serenity.
Keep it up!
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
I second that Woot Woot :) I love this share. I really love that saying and I try to say to myself often. I was recently looking at my life and the difference I've seen in the last two years and it amazes me how much progress I have made in this area as well. What else is amazing is how often my AH decides to join in and that goes well too. Regardless of his state of mind I can have a life and I am so glad I was eventually able to see it. Keep up the good work!
