Al-Anon Family Group

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Post Info TOPIC: Awareness


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 5075
Date:
Awareness


I'm a grateful member of alanon,   grateful to be more awake to life than I've ever been. The awareness especially keep coming for me. I assume this is a non stop process. Recently I've become more aware of the words in step 3  the idea we can make a decision and stick to it. God's will is the goodies like kindness honesty and the likes and it's amazing to me that we can make a decision to be .... whatever we chose and concentrate and commit to that behaviour throughout the day. It makes for a day of opportunities to practice. This idea has made step 3 much more doable for me and it also helps to squeeze out the shortcomings one day at a time. 



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Senior Member

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Posts: 164
Date:

Thank you el-cee for your share, this is an excellent exercise for me. I'm aware that I lack courage, so just for today, I made the commitment to make it todays practice. It felt uncomfortable and intimidating at first, but has become more natural as my day has moved on. I paid close attention to any feelings of fear that surfaced and gathered my courage to address them immediately. I made small and large progress as I faced my fears this morning from making a doctors appointment I had been putting off due my fear of going, to making an amends to my step mom due to my fear of feeling like a disappointment. I find the strength and support that HP is giving me to be comforting as I'm practicing having courage today :)

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- Carrie

Stress is caused by being 'here' but wanting to be 'there'. Eckhart Tolle



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 11569
Date:

I love this share/topic....I love that the program works when we work it. I was taught early on to do Steps 1-2-3 each morning and then Step 10 each night. It's a lovely practice that lines of perfectly for me in my efforts to live one day at a time. I do believe that for as long as I am breathing on this earth, and keep an open mind, I'll be learning/growing/changing.

I'm taking one moment at a time as I'm on the back side of my visit with my parents. Tomorrow evening, they will drop me at my brother's who will deliver me to the airport early Wednesday morning. A part of me is pining big-time for my own bed, pillows, home, etc. and I miss my dog so much. Yet, each time we part ways, I get sad as I wonder IF this may be the last time I see one/both. They are 82 and not getting much younger.

I was reminded today that each moment with them is a gift. My parents, like many others, were far from perfect. They were old school and we were expected to be perfect. I could spend years talking about that which they did to me and harbor life-long resentments or I can own my side of it, make living amends and impart unconditional love. I choose the latter...

They are both untreated ACoAs and boy - I can see it. They have both mellowed tons with age, and I believe they finally see me as an adult, but I now know (since I have kids) that when they look at me, they see their little girl from so many years ago. It happens for me - when I think of my sons, I don't see them as they are - the images that pop into my mind are from when they were sweet, innocent, unbridled laughter, etc. It is what it is.

So, just for today, I am very aware of forgiveness. I've forgiven them, and they've forgiven me. Recovery has allowed me to stop blaming everyone else and focus on the here/now and what I can do for my spiritual journey. My children are stuck in blaming me/dad for all their life problems, and it really doesn't bother me too much - I am very aware I did that too - for a long, long while - until I did not.

Letting go and Letting God does not excuse bad behavior. But, it does free me up to enjoy and cherish all that is around me that is good. I used to think if I wrote down all that happened in a day, most would be bad. What I know now is that changed attitudes change outlook and if I were to make a list, it would be a choice IF more bad than good showed up.....there are miracles and blessings happening around me all the time - I can see them or be too distracted to do so - choice.

Just for today, I choose to be here/present and free of all that this disease brings to me and those I love. I'm catching up on MIP as my mother snores on the love seat and I'm OK with that. Her heart is failing so she has no energy to go/do and feels badly for it. I suggested we play cards and just enjoy each other. Focus on me and providing loving service = great vacation in my book!

(((Hugs)))

__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 

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