The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The ODA T reading for April 23 speaks about using sarcasm as a way of interacting with others . The reading points out "sarcasm" relieves our pent-up feelings and gives a certain satisfaction Sarcasm may have many components in itself, and becomes even more distasteful when we realize that it comes from the Greek word which means:" tearing flesh."
It is a form of irony in which the speaker is motivated by score. The reading suggests that if you ever use this weapon against the drinker, we should promise ourselves not to do it again as we do not have the right to scorn anyone since I can never know what creates the need to behave in this way.
The reading also recommends that we make an effort to blend gentleness, with firmness to add a note of harmony in our relationship. Instead of tearing and destroying
The quote is from Proverbs" A scorner seeketh, wisdom, and find it not. He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding."
I must admit that I used" sarcasm" as a mode of communication for many years. One day I noticed the expression on a co worker's face as I spoke with my sarcasm and it registered that I was "tearing flesh" and it felt terrible. Today I love treating everyone with courtesy and respect and placing principles above personalities. It works for me.
You certainly walk the walk Betty; your courtesy and respectfulness are something to aspire to.
These days, when I feel struck with the urge to relieve pent up anger I am more likely to furiously write down the venom (no holding back) and then destroy what I have written. It works just as well, and then when I actually interact with the person the anger is lessened and I am far more able to be courteous and respectful. Nifty trick someone in the program showed me.
Thank-you for your ESH and your service
Hi Ms.M. it sounds as if you are honoring your feelings, by writing them out. Being able to review them objectively, not react, andthen turn themover to HP is a great tool which i have used successfully.
Have a great day.
Thank you Betty for your service, ESH and the daily....I grew up in a home where sarcasm was the norm, almost expected and never-ending. It's been a very difficult 'habit' to change. I do still find the desire to use it at times I am uncomfortable or offended. My best recourse is just pausing long enough to consider if it's a healthy or unhealthy way to respond. Of course, I used it to diffuse, to tear down and for many other purposes, most unhealthy.
With active family members, sometimes my best response is no response. I am often met with resistance even when my words are gentle, thought out and 'my truth'. I am grateful that I have program friends and a marvelous sponsor I can talk things out with.
Have a marvelous day - off to a meeting, then brunch, then sober softball, then break and then more softball later tonight - if....my neck starts to feel better. I took my oldest grandchild to the playground yesterday and whacked my head on a metal railing....I came up and hit it - saw stars. My head is fine but my neck is very stiff this morning - I think I gave myself whiplash!!
So - the day will change if it doesn't loosen up a bit. Lesson learned - jungle gyms made for little people are not intended for play by grandmas!!! Sun is shining brightly here and it's a beautiful morning. Hope you have a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Hi IAH Good luck at your game and I do hope your neck loosens up.
It does sound like painful freak accident. I love Mineral Ice for times such as this. Take care.
Thank you for Today's reading Betty and for your service. We can do so much damage with the way we deliver our words and when we do they can't be taken back. I too have used sarcasm mistaking it for wit. There is nothing witty about tearing down another verbally. When I want to lash out it's time to PAUSE. It also helps to think of sarcasm as a rattlesnake coiled and ready to strike a bite full of venom. What possible good can ever come from that?
