The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Wow. This program blows me away. I've recently been led to awareness acceptance and I'm filled with such hope right now.
There is a flawed human on the fringes of my life who is the figure of hate resentment and anger by a large group of people and my close friend is one of them. I've mostly stayed out of controversy and listened to her offering my ear and not much else. Well the downfall of this hate figure has happened and I reached out to the person and wished them well. I did this mostly because I've been trying to actually take action this programme tells me to take instead of just talking the talk I've made a decision to be nice. Nice doesn't come easy or naturally to me lol. Anyway my friend was talking about this person and how she's happy along with lots of others that this person is finally getting consequences. I understand that. Justice or perceived justice can be important. I mentioned I had reached out and offered my good will. Well!!! OMG. I'm the devil with big giant horns. I told her I wanted to be kind and that's it. Now she's talking loyalty and how I have none. Betrayal by me of many injured people. You name it. This has all been such a blessing because I see where my loyalty lies it's in alanon it's to my higher power it's the wisdom of my elders. I'm committed and I forgot and now I see. I'm proud of the person my higher power is making me. I went against the mob stood separate it felt wobbly and I did get flashes of shame but only tiny flashes. I did the right thing for me for my journey my commitment to my program I walked the walk and I'm not popular. I'm possibly hate figure number 2 now and wow it feels great. I'm so happy. I'm making progress. I'm living principles above personalities finally or I've finally seen it. I did the right thing for me and I'm losing friendships and connections because of it and guess what? I'm ok with that. It means my higher power is clearing the way for something better. Thanks for reading. X
Great share LC. I am so inspired by your powerful awareness, acceptance and actions. I love how you placed principles above personalities and found that responding to others with courtesy and respect actually felt better even though your friends did not approve.
.
Love how alanon is a spiritual program and you just demostrated this so well/
Thanks for sharing the journey
That's such an awesome share. I have always been influenced by the crowd mentality and found it hard to go against the grain so to speak. Even if I saw someone being vilified in ways that weren't appropriate in my eyes.
I think being true to ourselves is one of the greatest gifts we learn in Al Anon. I know I'm still working on it, but I am also grateful to the program for giving me that. HUGS!
__________________
Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
Absolutely lovely share ((el-cee)) and thank you for your ESH. It's so incredibly miraculous to witness the true change and transformation in us as we allow our selves to accept life as life is. It takes courage to do what you did and it's making you shine very bright from the inside out.
__________________
- Carrie
Stress is caused by being 'here' but wanting to be 'there'. Eckhart Tolle
(((El-Cee))) - way to go......it can be so difficult to 'do the next right thing' yet it's so freeing. Your share is powerful, heartfelt and awesome testimony to the power of recovery. Love it!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
woohoooo, I so loved reading about the "result" of these steps!!
Ive had the same experience of people falling away, my circle had gotten smaller and smaller not because my heart had closed to anyone but because theirs had closed to me. Like them, I can forget unity and one-ness in a hot minute... falling into the me vs. them (separatist) mentality too, whenever I compare rather than identify.
Thank you for sharing this joy, I am celebrating with you!
A sponsorship share...this is how it's done. Focus on walking your program and not their program. This is how I learned and also what I am doing. One of the morning readings was right within your share. Mahalo sister...
-- Edited by Jerry F on Sunday 23rd of April 2017 01:34:36 AM
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Great share El Cee doing the right thing isn't always popular with those that want things to stay the same. You are growing and walking the walk putting principles above personalities.
Stepping out of your comfort zone....! This is stepping in the right direction. Your working your program. Thanks for the
encouragement. Friends are great when you all agree, but you will know your real friends when you disagree with them. I believe i have had only a very few real friends maybe 4 at the most.... thanks el-cee. It takes a real honest and strong person to accept YOU just the way you are. Linsc
Thank you for your support. Its been helpful. I will admit to having some doubts. My friend is definitely not.talking to me and I'm finding it wee bit hard accepting this loss. The rejection thing is tricky but I know that acceptance of what is right now is acceptance of me and my hp will for me. I must let her go because the alternative is people pleasing bending to her will and losing my self respect.
She was saying how Hitler got away with everything he did because of people like me. Not as directly as this of course but she brought Hitler into it and how my attitude allows bad people to continue bad things. She sees me as a traitor. I will admit to niggling doubts but I have to remember that she sees the whole situation differently from me and it's OK for me to have a different perspective and her judgement of me is her own problem. I'm trying real hard to let her go without anger. I think that's the right thing to do.x
Wow that was insulting. She is judging you. And of course letting "bad people do bad things" we have no control over what other people do. I'd like to see her stop these bad people from doing bad things. Ho, ho..... Let it be, time will tell all. There are 7.5 billion people in this world, there is bound to be another friend for you. And I know you're not worried. Linsc
Hey elcee, not sure which step you are leaning on for support but wanted to throw this out as food for thought... whenever I struggle fitting myself to be of maximum service to God, they told me to back up to the previous step... to lengthen my time in prayer and meditation because with spiritual awareness, I would gain the POWER to carry it out.
and I do love the line in the BB, "when a person offended we said to ourselves, this is a sick man, how can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry, Thy will be done.
I am really grateful for your post and will be rooting for you and HP
