The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My first pot here. Ive been reading others' posts, they all speak to my experiences in a way i have never experienced wirh another human being. I have been to 2 meetings, some time ago now. And read daily from Courage to Change. I will go to meetings again I've been in a relationship for around 16 years. It has viscerally turned me inside out. All my innards are on the outside. Raw. I have been to hell and hope I am on the way back. It has been such a mind *** to go through something so huge and painful and destructive to my self and not to be able to find anyone who even would acknowledge anything were happening at all! I realise in the end I need to be able to validate myself, not rely on finding validation in others. But still, I do think there is such a possibility of healing balm to be able to share with others who know. I hope to be able share with everyone here
-- Edited by hotrod on Monday 17th of April 2017 04:15:31 PM
Aloha Mabel I understand and remember how I banged into walls and trees and all kinds of stuff thinking I could solve my problem or the answer was right around the corner or my alcoholic addict would be able to read my mind while she was not drinking, using and having affairs and then just say okay "I'm done lets get this repaired to perfection". Never happen with everyone and anyone I met in program back in 1979. I stumbled thru all the lessons and direction and inventory and literature until I could hold my breath and murmur "I think I understand. There is no fixing this its only about fixing me". There are so many solutions and I had to go listen and learn from others who came before me...women (mostly) and men too. This disease can never be cured only arrested by total abstinence made me humble; teachable. That it was and is a mind and mood altering chemical helped me to understand I wouldn't get thru it alone with the same brain I came in with and that my spouse when she used and drank was brain dead. Then all the other lessons and practices came one after another until I felt I had my life and spirit back intact and could take my place in public and family without people shying away.
You are in the right place and I am in support with the others to help out. Keep coming back cause this works when you work it....(((((hugs)))))
Hello Mabel - I too send warm welcomes to you! Glad you found us here at MIP and so glad you joined right in. I totally understand the insides being 'exposed'....this disease and the extent it reaches out and affects almost all is maddening. What helped me breathe deep when I first came around was the three C(s) - I didn't cause it, I can't control it and I can't cure it....when I heard that I felt a calm cover over me - hard to describe but my first ounce of hope.
Keep coming back - tons of help and hope in recovery! Glad you're here!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Welcome Mabel, glad you found MIP. We all have felt those raw insides and hopefully joining in here, listening to others share their Experience, Strength and Hope will ease the pain. You have found a place to Listen and Learn and of course Share if you feel comfortable. Keep coming back!
I've been in a relationship for around 16 years. It has viscerally turned me inside out. All my innards are on the outside. Raw. I have been to hell and hope I am on the way back. It has been such a mind *** to go through something so huge and painful and destructive to my self and not to be able to find anyone who even would acknowledge anything were happening at all! I realise in the end I need to be able to validate myself, not rely on finding validation in others. But still, I do think there is such a possibility of healing balm to be able to share with others who know. I hope to be able share with everyone here 