Today I'm doing my best in showing up,

im doing better ,I think,

although im mostly reading others shares here instead of shareing myself,

im finding it hard either way ,rather it's showing up or shareing.

im learning to just show up for events that I want to go to,

land share when I feel I need to.

im been going from this board to aca board lately,

this mip always be home home group ,aca second.

for my childhood traumas have been long gone,

my living with a active loved ones hasn't been long ago ,so it's still fairly fresh as what all I endured there ,made me stronger ,I survived it,

all this still goes way back into my childhood at a very young age as many of you have read my past shares.

as a child I never had a voice in nothing,I stayed in isolation for my af kept us way away from civilization ,raised in the backwoods,mom was the codependent she done all she could or knew to do copeing and dealing with a active husband herself.

crises was the most action we got growing up,lots of it.

so a lifetime of living in a chaotic,disfunctional home,

doesnt come easy to change all that over night ,it takes months even years,maybe rest of my life trying to figure all this out.

it is working ,I'm going at a slow pace,I've prolly done a lot of over thinking sit.beating myself up trying to get well sooner than my hp will for me,me running ahead ,don't work that way.

i have good days,lots of bad days,bands days now are just me getting well ,I think ,it's a process ,and Im trusting in that process.

im stopping here for I'm needing to get ready and show up for church this morning,

i can do this,I got this ,me and my hp has got this.thanks for listening,sorry I've jumped all over the place with my topic,

guess I get a bit overwhelmed ,,,,,,,hugs LU