The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today is the second day of getting out and actually doing over night trips for work. I know it is easier with her still in her 90 day inpatient program, but this is just a reminder that I can do this and I can enjoy it. When she gets out next week, I will have a couple of weeks before I will have to do this again. That will be the big test of what Al-anon has taught me. Being gone for a few days while she is home and knowing that I can not control of affect what she does. I just have to have faith that she will do the right thing and be prepared with my reaction if she doesn't.
I do believe that she is in the right place, but then again, she has fooled me before. But I do know that whether she is or she isn't, I can't let it ruin me anymore.
I feel good, not as paralyzed with memories of bad times as I expected. It has helped that I have had internet access to read posts here, you all help keep me in line. I have not been anywhere at the right time for a F2F meeting, but this does help, Thank you.
I wish I had some great saying or action that I took that I could offer to you as tool for you to use, but it is mainly just what I have learned from Al-anon and probably having my AGF in a program is a big help too.
Sorry, I am babbling, it has been a long day, but I just want to connect with you all, you mean so much to my recovery.
Today's reminder from ODAT "I do not have to accept the continuous misery that goes with alcoholism. I will not surrender to the vagaries and machinations of the alcoholic. No one can distort my thinking unless I permit it."
Iam new here , and I'm new in my recovery take a lot of courage to do what we do. I thougt would be easy . but sure help to know that Iam not alone on this journey . lots to learn .. good luck to you Rick . thanks for sharing you help me even without knowing me.
Rick prayers to your and your wife and family. The journey starts as it did for my alcoholic/addict wife and I. One of the very many lessons I learned that worked wonders for me was to choose another partner I could trust and rely upon daily and that one was HP. My HP was and is real and so I made the choice and while the personalities seemed so odd and different the similarities kept me opting for my HP. I took my wife and offered her up unconditionally and journeyed with confidence. My Higher Power would in time use her to teach me humility. Good fortune on this trial run. (((hugs)))
I still had a hard time even after acceptance that my AH had a disease to surrender his recovery over to HP. Even when he started his road to recovery I was still always waiting for the worst. It has taken a lot of time for me to trust again. Keep coming back (((Rick)))
Stan the trust I developed wasn't in my alcoholic/addict wife it was in and with my HP which made trust so much more warranted and easy. I got from my HP what I would never get from my addicted spouse. (((hugs)))
(((Rick))) - I remember hearing 'baby steps' when I arrived in Al-Anon....I thought it kind of funny. Then I realized that it means more to me than small steps - it means small steps, eyes open, mind aware, excitement for the journey, etc. As with many things in Al-Anon, my perceptions have changed over time - for which I am grateful.
I've been practicing deep breathing when concerned/troubled/anxious - just to help me remember to pause. Pausing has helped me react less and respond more. Many times, my best response now is no words at all.
Staying as present as I possibly can does help me tons too. You've got an excellent start and remember it's all about progress! (((Hugs))) to you, your wife and family! Sending positive thoughts and prayers.
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
