The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading challenges us to consider every person we encounter as a teacher who offers us a very important lesson to learn...every person, even the ones whose company we struggle to endure.
We may witness positive qualities we can adopt, negative traits that remind us of something we are working to change in ourselves, or have the chance to practice graceful acceptance of differing viewpoints. Our teacher stands before us, though we likely will need the help of our higher power to master the lesson.
Today's Reminder: We come to AlAnon to find inner peace and build healthier relationships with others. Every person our higher power brings us into contact with presents an opportunity to learn and practice our new skills.
"Separate reeds are weak and easily broken; but bound together they are strong and hard to tear apart." - The Midrash
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Before I found AlAnon, I carried an arrogance and impatience with others that came from believing that I had things all figured out, and thought others were usually at fault if I felt out of sorts.
AlAnon is helping me process the humbling realization that I am responsible for much of my own misery, and that I don't know what is best for everyone. I learn from others that there are different ways to do things, see things, and respond. I am making good progress in looking for lessons, asking myself what my feelings say about me, rather than going straight to impatience or anger.
Not all examples are worthy of imitation, but all are opportunities to practice acceptance, tolerance, detachment or boundary protection. Every day something to learn, a chance to grow, and a reason to be grateful
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Hi Paul Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this great tool. Looking for the lessons in every interaction and not feeding my anger, resentment or arrogance is certainly a more constructive use of my time and a great learning experience. Another way in which program point me in the direction of that great asset of Humility.
Thanks for your service.
Thanks Paul.
Being able to view even negative encounters ad relationships as learning experiences is so empowering. Previously I would dread and try to avoid potentially difficult encounters ad now, if i remember to view it as an opportunity for growth, it becomes something else entirely.
Amazing how much difference a slight shift in perception makes
Thank you Paul for your service and the daily. Thank you also for your ESH...
I am grateful that Al-Anon has taught me to have an open-mind and to listen. I am grateful that each encounter gives me an opportunity to see things differently, learn and grow. I was told early on that humility means being teachable and that's an easy to remember way for me to realize that we each have our own values/views, and all can help me when I am willing.
I believe the God speaks to me through every person I encounter. I also believe he protects me and shows me who add to my life and who take away from my life. I don't avoid anyone ever, but have learned to surround myself with like-minded others who are moving forward instead of backward or standing still.
So grateful for our journey, Al-Anon and MIP! Make it a great day - meeting @ noon and potluck immediately following (if you want to come by)!!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks Hotrod, MissM, and IAH for your ESH...always glad to hear how others are successfully working the program. AlAnon has so much power and wisdom that I see positive results with every bit of application I can manage with the steps, lessons, and tools.
IAH, that sounds like a fantastic way to spend a chilly afternoon! I am, however, committed to a day inside, looking outside as the grip of the remaining, colorful leaves is tested by the wind. Would prefer warm fellowship and tasty food, but it is not in the cards today...something to look forward to, have a great time!
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Hi Paul,
Thank you for your service and your share. this reading really spoke to me this morning. I have this one person that I work with that irks me. This person has irked me since the day I started at my organization many years ago and although I have changed many roles and teams at my work for some reason this person always ends up working with me. I get the sense that I irk her as much as she irks me yet life keeps throwing us together and forcing us to work together over and over again. What bothered me about her were things that bothered me about myself. Instead of focusing on the negatives I tried to focus on her positives. I try to draw on her strengths and accept her flaws. This wasn't easy for me. She really REALLY irked me. And I can really really irk her as well. But since I've learned to be more accepting and to see the positives our relationship has changed. It is much more harmonious and respectful. I started being more respectful and she followed suit. I also found that she has been affected by alcoholism in her life as well in fact she used a few phrases recently that make me think she may be a part of this fellowship. When I learned that she had been affected I could see how we clashed. We are too much alike and that is why we clashed. So being more accepting of her helps me be more accepting of myself and when I really look at her objectively and stop wanted to control or micromanager her I can see that she has some amazing qualities I have been missing for a long time. I can also see my part in the problems and try to fix them because I'm not so focused on trying to change her. Thanks to the program I am able to get past my irrational annoyance with my fellow human being and I am able to be more kind and accepting one day at a time.
Hey Paul - one day....we'll get you out to the meeting.....or - just the pot luck! It was tons of fun and the fellowship + food was truly enjoyable! Our meeting before our meal was about Tolerance - great topic, especially for this time of year. We spoke of tolerating others, well beyond our qualifier, how the holidays can be difficult and of course how great our group truly is and how Al-Anon shows us that tolerance, acceptance and open-mindedness are necessary tools for our growth in recovery!
I read the C2C for today as it just seemed to round out the meeting in a great way! It is true that winter does appear to be here now....I'm already pining for springtime!! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Hi KT, I relate well to that. So many times in my past I have felt a similar 'grrrr' towards individuals, and turned it into long lasting unpleasantness that seemed only to grow. Such a change after working on AlAnon principles, allowing me the opportunity to understand the reason for my feelings, their behavior, and use slogans like Live and Let Live, Easy Does it, How Important Is It, and Let it Begin With Me. More often than not, I was able to turn it around...huge change for me and a great feeling! Great to hear the program working...
IAH, yes indeed, one day indeed! Sounds like a wonderful time with the group, good food, and great topics. This time of the year can bring challenging situations for many, I am sure it was a needed recharge. Oh, how the wind doth bite! Haha, yes it does remind me that we are only 3 months away from March, we can make it!
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
