Hi my name is Jim and I'm a grateful member of al-anon.

It's been awhile. I'm glad I thought of the fellowship recently. I havn't been to a meeting in months....posted here in maybe a year... I felt it was time for me to grow in a different direction in different areas of my life. It was time to break away from the church basements, and i didn't think al-anon was the place to discuss the stuff that is bothering me. the changes I want to make...I still feel this way...I don't know if my current problems are related to my father's drinking affectng me...I don't think they are.....but thought I could use a tune-up nonetheless.

I don't do well in big extended social circles. I am the type that prefers 2 close friends than 200 facebook friends. I prefer one on one interaction where I genuinely get to know you instead of boastful superficial group conversation where everyone tries to one-up the other. I am a blunt and honest individual because I refuse to be lied to and manipulated like I was by the alcoholic... and that personality type doesn't mesh well with large groups that only get bigger. I've fallen for this twice now..... You meet an individual who makes you feel like you're important and part of the core, by they're really just about padding their fragile ego. They get upset and call you names when you try and be genuine because they know of no such word......I think my genuine nature got me into trouble 2 weekends ago. Asking a woman how old they are and if they are married, all within a casual social setting, was seen as taboo.....he didn't give a crap about me or her. He cared about how it made him look. So.... I embarassed him :) Combining authenticity and witty humor can be a toxic combination as I've had to find out all to many times.

So, I chose to let the dust settle and to distance myself.....I may not go back for awhile....Many see my unwillingness to confront as weakness....i know they gossip about it.... I got lectured about manhood by a 35 year-old that still lives with his parents and hasn't worked in 2 years....I get lectured a lot about my authenticity.....What am I going to do? He's not a bad person....but he's popular.....i'm not.....I think boundaries is probably the best answer.

Anyway, thanks for listening.

Great to be back