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Post Info TOPIC: Counting on AH just dosen't work even though he's dry


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Counting on AH just dosen't work even though he's dry


My AH acted selfishly towards me and for some reason I was surprised. Thinkng about it now, it just seems silly. I had no reason to expect him to support me when it was even slightly inconvenient or uncomfortable for him - but still I had expectations and set myself up for didappointment. Things are so much better now that he is dry, but still he isn't able to be the partner I really want him to be.

I started a 5k training program this summer and though I had some set-backs and haven't finished my program i'm going to jog/walk my first 5k fun run this Sunday. There's a kids' dash, lots of candy and swag and I'm excited for not just the run, but the whole experience.

 

Today AH realized it would conflict with his football watching if I ran too slow, or spent any time at the event afterwards. He complained about being "stuck" there for too long. It's clear he doesn't want to go, but if he does not come as he promised to do months ago I will have to run and care for my 4yr old at the event somehow (he really wants to go and I want him there too). I don't have a caregiver or friend who could go with us. 

 

Bleh. I stumbled into the hardware store hoping to buy bread again. Of course AH is selfish, and unreliable I know that already. Water is also wet. Lol

 

I came up with a new plan to find a jogging stroller to borrow or if need be push my kiddo in his bike trailer for the 5k. I won't let this stop me from having fun at my event. If AH chooses to come, fine; if not, I am all set and will probably have more fun just with my son anyway. We can take our time and do the 5k together in our costumes and eat loads of candy at the end.

 

Thanks for reading, writing this out helped me think through my hurt feelings. Any ESH you can share is appreciated



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Dandelion

A weed is a flower you haven't met yet.



~*Service Worker*~

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Counting on AH just soesn't work even though he's dry


(Dandelion)) I so understand and  love how you have come up with a "Plan B". The idea of the jogging stroller is fantastic so Good Luck!!!

It sounds like a great adventure so that if you can please post a picture.



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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


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Wonderful, I'm excited for you and am intrigued by the costumes!! Enjoy! Pictures please.

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Member

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Glad you found a solution! Running your first 5K is a great accomplishment. Way to work on you! 



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Senior Member

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What a great idea, doing a 5K with your little guy. That will be an amazing memory for you both.

A great way to show him that getting out and getting active is so much fun. Plus, who doesn't love costumes and candy!

You two have fun and don't give a thought to cranky pants at home. He's the one missing out!



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Ready to let go


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Pictures guaranteed

I'll be a unicorn and my son is going as Batman. Looks like we'll have a stroller to decorate too - maybe a rainbow batmobile mash-up

The run is fun with lots of costumes and a finish line party with kids' activities. We'll have a great time for sure. I just let my feelings get hurt when AH made it clear he wasn't supportive - but that's just reality and it is his choice. (And his loss)

What's fitting is I started trainng in part to move through feelings from my childhood - feeling as if my father would withold affection if I wasn' the best at something or fear that he would ridicule my weaknesses. And here is AH complainng about my expected race time being too long - I'm over it. I'll be one strong momma finishing that race and celebrating with my son.

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Dandelion

A weed is a flower you haven't met yet.



~*Service Worker*~

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Oh I believe in unicorns - and your son was obviously meant to join you with his own batmobile!! Isn't it wonderful when we find work-arounds that actually work for all that old tosh stuff!

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~*Service Worker*~

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Great job for training for the 5K - I too am excited that you are going, you are taking your son and you've found a Plan B that will work for you! I too would love to hear about the day and of course, see the photos!!! Keep on keeping on - have a blast!!!

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 



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Race Day!

AH ended up comng afterall - no big deal since we had a plan but nice to have his support. He was mostly pleasant, and was supportive of my accomplishment but next time I may just go without him to see how it feels. Crowds and events aren't his "thing" and he made an effort but I want to see what it's like to fly solo too.

I beat my expected finish time by 12 minutes!!! The course was flatter than the trails i've been training on and the whole event was so fun - I finished with Bob Ross, a happy little tree, and a narwhal. Lol totally awesome.
Pics pending

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Dandelion

A weed is a flower you haven't met yet.



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view?usp=drivesdk

Attempting photo on mobil . . . 



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Dandelion

A weed is a flower you haven't met yet.



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drive.google.com/file/d/0B4qD8EjmNelVTjNVOUxwQnhaLTg/view

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Dandelion

A weed is a flower you haven't met yet.

El


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Love the picture!  Congrats on your time and plan to proceed no matter what!



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~*Service Worker*~

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Date:
Counting on AH just dosen't work even though he's dry


Yay for you for doing the race and doing it better than you expected! It's also great to see how everything worked out in support of your goals, fun, etc. That's a super great photo - what a great memory....keep on keeping on - your recovery is a miracle in progress!

(((Hugs)))

__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 



~*Service Worker*~

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((Dandelion)) Congrats all around. Love the picture You are indeed a Miracle in Progress

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


Senior Member

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Posts: 134
Date:

Thanks for your support - the race was so great and a big deal for me both physically overcoming my old injury and progressing in my recovery. It felt great to have a physical, tactile thing to help me understand my growrh and change over the last few months. I am looking forward to the next one. I have another four weeks in my training program to help build up more strength and endurance and then I hope to see an even faster race time
It's really wonderful to have this physical activity as I work my steps and let go of old ideas and beliefs - It helps me see that I am capable of change in anazing ways

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Dandelion

A weed is a flower you haven't met yet.

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