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Post Info TOPIC: Courage to Change (C2C) 10/24/16 Recovery Like a Birch Tree


~*Service Worker*~

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Courage to Change (C2C) 10/24/16 Recovery Like a Birch Tree


Today's reading likens recovery in AlAnon to a Birch tree, rather than an an onion, because it sheds its bark on its own after a period of growth: the bark serves a valuable purpose but then fall away as the tree grows and new protective bark takes its place.

If a protective layer of bark is removed too early, it can cause damage to the tree. When the process occurs naturally, however, protection is always in place as old bark gives way to new.

In our recovery, we move at the pace that we can, trading old ways of coping and protecting for new when we have applied program tools that allow growth and change. This will happen as we are ready for it, with no need to force things.

"...We all have our own answers within ourselves and can find them with the help of our AlAnon program and a Higher Power." ...In All Our Affairs

************

The Birch tree describes the recovery process well, and the role time plays in allowing us to make our discoveries gradually with regular reading, meetings, and meditation.

I thought of my efforts to change my qualifier before I found AlAnon and saw how my efforts were harmful: trying to force new growth before they were ready because it was what I wanted. Forcing change in another through advice giving or ultimatums can have harmful, unintended consequences, like when we prematurely remove bark from a Birch tree.

In AlAnon, keeping the focus on the little steps we can take each day, one day at a time, allows us to make progress without even realizing it. Gradual changes in our approach and mindset allow us to drop old habits when they are no longer needed, replaced by those that allow room for peace.

Out of love and respect for others, I can recall this page to help me avoid harming others' protective 'bark'. Instead, I can offer them the support and encouragement that will help them generate their own growth and protection as they need, not as I think they need.

This is a reminder I need to focus on this week, so grateful for the program

 



__________________

Paul

"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives."  - Paths to Recovery 



~*Service Worker*~

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Hello Paul, Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this important concept.

Prior to program, I thought that I could force change and make people "see" what they were doing to hurt themselves. In the words of this reading , I tried to "rip of the protective bark" and expose the truth as I saw it .

I know i injured some and for that I have made made amends and learned to mind my own business. The best I can do is offer compassion, respect and kindness to another and trust that the answers for their lives will surface when they are ready to act.

Thanks for your service and for sharing this journey.


__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


~*Service Worker*~

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Thank you Paul for your service, today's daily and your ESH. Thank you too Betty for your ESH. This so reminds me of what I watched yesterday - Joel Ostein. He was talking about the root system of trees, and some have deeper roots and some have shallow roots. The wind blowing tends to strengthen all roots yet when a tree is blown over, it's because it wasn't able to rely on the deeper root system. He likened this to soul level faith and how when the wind is blowing, we need to dig deep and know in our centers that our HP will give us what we need when we need it. I suppose the main alignment between the readings was the 'tree' itself - I tend to believe that there is a message to us in the circle of life and the creations of nature.

If we work to go with the flow and/or stop trying to force solutions, life goes as it should. For me, when my will gets in the way, I end up left of center and often lacking in serenity. Allowing life to unfold as it's supposed to certainly helps me keep my focus on me, my next right thing and how to be of maximum value to those around me.

Happy Monday all - lovely sunshine fall day here - cleaning for company this week and softball tonight! Make it a great day!

__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 



~*Service Worker*~

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Betty = I know i injured some and for that I have made made amends and learned to mind my own business. The best I can do is offer compassion, respect and kindness to another and trust that the answers for their lives will surface when they are ready to act.




There are so many amends I need to make to others. Betty Thank you for that sentence....it hit home.


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 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 


~*Service Worker*~

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((Cathy)) Trust this process

__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


~*Service Worker*~

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I can really relate to this reading. Prior to embracing Al Anon principles, I truly believed that I was responsible for my qualifiers behavior and it was my job to get her to see the "light" Constantly trying to force solutions, fix everything resulting in complete loss of any serenity I had. Of course none of it worked, but at the time I just thought well I have to say it more often, in another way, and on and on and on. I do have amends to make in this area as well. I am slowly letting go of my old bark, my old beliefs that I have all the answers. It is certainly an easier way to live.

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