The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for October 23 speaks about the fact that once sobriety is attained in the home. it points out that we believe that the nightmares will be over. However, we discover that alcohol had a tranquilizing effect and now without this the alcoholic is quite difficult to live with.and we too have many negative reactions that are not healthy. It points out that sobriety brings change, but it doesn't take away all the problems.
Al-Anon helps us to learn that we don't have to accept the unacceptable nor do we have to argue back will another to convince another person that we are innocent or are right. We can begin to recognize that we are dealing with the insanity of alcoholism and detach.
Al-Anon helps us to remember that we have choices. We can say the serenity prayer to ourselves, refuse to discuss the topic. We can listen without taking the words personally and leave the room.
The quote is from: In All Our Affairs; "we may never have the choices we would have if we were writing the script, but we always have choices."
I guess I always wanted to be writing the script and when I could not, I did not like the choices available. I tried to force my solutions and get my way That did not work at all. When I finally said "not my will but thine " and arrived at acceptance my program blossomed as did I.
Good morning Betty - thanks for the daily, your service and the ESH. I too really, really wanted to write script and to have things go my way. In my limited view, I truly believed my way was the best way. I am beyond grateful that recovery in Al-Anon gave me the ability to surrender my will, and to trust the process and my Higher Power. It's so much easier than trying to force solutions and seek my way all the time!
I am glad that working the steps helped me see that I too was sick. When I am willing to turn my will over each day, my days go very well. When I am troubled, the program gives me tools to change things up. Accepting that no human power is going to meet my needs gives me peace of mind and heart. I am satisfied today with progress and grateful to continue growing, learning and changing.
It's a lovely day here - we have sunshine and we've got above average temperatures. Meeting this morning and CHIEFS game @ noon! Love me some football!! Make it a great one all!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
When my AH took up drinking again I was convinced that everything would be fine if I could just get him to stop. I now know that we both have many things that we need to work on separately. His PTSD is from living with horrific abuse as a child. That just doesn't go away because he's not drinking. I am learning to quit taking it personally when he reacts in certain ways. I am also aware of my own shortcomings thanks to program. i have figured out that I react to my own feelings and cause a crisis where there doesn't necessarily need to be one. I don't let things unfold as they were meant to. I force my own crisis and then my own solution. None of this is working.
My feelings are not facts. I don't need to act on them immediately. I can pray for guidance and to learn to let things go.
Thank you, Betty, IAH, and Fancy for your ESH on a great page. Alcohol was the first thing I had to admit I was powerless over, but was only one in a very long line of people and things AlAnon helped me see I was powerless over. I, too, thought with all of those, "if only ____ would happen, things will be good."
In my mind, I controlled the imaginary outcomes to events, so my ideas were always amazing. Real world outcomes seldom match up with my expectations, however. Working my program, focusing my efforts on acceptance, rather than on expectations or outcomes, brings much better returns on peace and serenity. Such good reminders
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
I don't think the booze was ever the problem. I am viewing booze as a magnifying glass. Everyone has flaws and problems. If the booze problem was better, the other problems would shrink in size. If it weren't the booze, it would be pills or food or something. Booze is just a substance and has no real power except the power we give it. That's my thoughts.
Okay I came in late and need to remind myself not to start off coming in late cause I could have used this message earlier and then I do have it now huh? So there I will use it now...still needed it. (((((Betty)))))
