The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's c2c notes that some of us begin our al-anon journey sharing only light-hearted or amusing stories about the problems of living with or loving an alcoholic and avoid sharing any real, raw or painful truths. The reading suggests that this is because we don't trust anyone with our truth and it observes that paradoxically, we need the support and encouragement of others to begin to be honest with ourselves about our feelings and experiences. This allows us to then reap the rewards of fearlessly discovering ourselves and working our way through the 12 steps with open eyes and hearts.
The reading reminds us that although we might tend towards playing the clown or minimising our feelings and problems because that is how we have learned to cope in a alcoholic environment, with al-anon we have other options. We can choose to acknowledge our less pleasant feelings and experiences and talk them through with a trusted program friend.
"It may feel like an enormous risk, but talking honestly about the situation is the key to healing". (In All our Affairs).
***
I know that the urge to minimise my problems and maintain the appearance of being "fine' and 'normal" amongst al-anon folk got in the way of my own healing in the early days and whilst it still surfaces from time to time, it no longer dominates my interactions. Being honest with others about the pains and struggles I've encountered so far on my journey has been far more productive and healing than any time spent trying to maintain a mask of normalcy or trying to convince everyone else and myself by extension that 'I don't care so it can't hurt me". I'm so grateful to have found a safe place and safe people with whom to share my truths and self discovery.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences regarding this extremely important topic.
I know that I too dismissed much of my pain by minimizing it, joking about it and pretending that I was fine. My family still does this. I am so happy that I discovered how to feel my feelings, own them, process them and then let them go using constructive tools learned at alanon meetings. Love watching your growth
Thanks for your service.
I'm in this situation right now and I can't shake it but also won't seek the help I need. I keep thinking it will go away, get better if I just keep saying the quotes I have over and over. I know I need much much more help but I won't surrender and let go. I'm very dishonest with myself and everyone around me in regards everything I do or say in regards to ME.
Nothing changes if nothing changes.......when will I get it?
Thanks again (( hugs ))
__________________
Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
