The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is about how we come to the program and what type of participation/service each of us may bring to it. For me the line from this page that speaks volumes is: '...each of us has something unique that we bring to the program'. I remember being at meetings and listening to someone chair, give a treasurer's report, speak about conventions, and thinking-- I don't know that I could handle the responsibilities with this type of service. I was very much in the 'now I am supposed to..' mindset. I knew I should be going to meetings so I did. When I went to meetings I saw that I should be of service-- then a few people suggested that maybe the service I could offer was simply to be there and be a supportive witness to others who were sharing. It dawned on me- for now maybe all I can do and need to do is show up (and i should add- show up and shut up - since it took me so long to say a word at meetings!
I think about service in the program the way I think about how I feel when I give someone a gift, do a favor, take five minutes to just hear someone who needs to talk- I feel fulfilled, I feel stronger, doing that good helps me in my own recovery. Writing about a page here once a week helps me in my recovery as well, and I'm grateful to be here with all of you.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this important topic . In the beginning of this journey, I too thought that giving service was a huge responsibility and I was not interested. Then someone pointed out that by coming to meetings,sharing my eSH, listening with an open mind was giving service and that felt good. From those humble beginnings, I graduated to being the Speaker at meetings, chairing and servicing in ll the different roles that are necessary. It feels good to give back.
Thanks for your service. Have a Blessed day
Good morning MIP! Thank you Mary for your share and the daily. Thank you Mary and Betty for your ESH. I came from a FOO where I learned to 'go big or go home'.....so - when I felt strong enough to be of service, like many things before, I was 'all in'.....I would show up early to pull chairs, make coffee, set out literature, prepare rooms, etc. I would stay late and put chairs away, etc....
I ended up then feeling resentful that others were not doing their fair share! Wow - talk about needing recovery. I had a perfect example staring me down as to how my expectations set me up for more distorted thinking, unprovoked frustration and crazy-making all in my own mind!
I had to learn about moderation and 'shades of gray'. Being of service is a huge element of my recovery, and will always be. I need to make sure it aligns with my program though and doesn't allow me to drift away from my personal serenity. When I 'over do', others aren't given a chance to service. When I 'under do', others are over-burdened. As with all things in life, balance is the key to serenity for me.
I still like to show up early and I will always stay after if needed. I learned in the program to offer myself of service - simply....How can I help? I use these 4 words often and always as they keep me from jumping in with both feet and trying to control. This allows me to serve at the direction of another instead of the way I want/think I need to. Service can be as simple as pouring coffee to more complicated - a trusted position. All service, like all members, is equally important and helps us stay humble in our willingness to be open to recovery and of service to others.
I hope everyone has a super Tuesday!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks Mary for the read which was also mine this morning and with the daily readers. We get what we give has always been an Al-Anon message to me for as long as I have participated. Giving rightfully I learned is so much more different than enabling and I like the differences including the outcomes. I have sold the handcuffs in a garage sale and no longer drag "needy" people around with me. lol (((((hugs)))))
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