The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Drum roll please.... even though "my boyfriend" is not an A in any way shape or form, I am discovering that I am STILL broken in some places, seriously cracked in others - getting rid of the A didn't magically fix everything in my life, imagine that?
I still need to work on me, good thing I have the tools to do so eh?
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
(((LMH))) - Me Three!! So grateful for the program, tools, HP and fellowship....I know where to turn when my blinker is broken or out of order!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Revelations keep coming for me as I remain in recovery and I believe it is the reversal of insanity to sanity as we have been given in the 2nd steps. Takes a HP for this brother in recovery; one which is real and active in my life. I can't be trusted with super glue I get stuck to everything and don't have the recipe for getting it off. (((hugs)))
I can relate. I found more of the broken parts within me have been revealed through my relationship too. I've brought it with me and I suppose it's just trying to remember were in recovery for a reason and I think I always will be.
Being in my first serious relationship since leaving my AH five years ago has really caused me to look in the mirror. I have to check my need to control at the door with this new guy. He deserves the best version of me. I've just got to keep working on finding it again. We are very good at communicating, so I've shared with him my history of having control issues. With that sharing has come a lot of opportunities for making needed changes and forgiving myself for tripping up on occasion. Thank God this guy is as patient and caring as he is! He probably had no idea what I challenge I would be for him :) Good thing he seems to really love me!
GE
-- Edited by Green Eyes on Tuesday 27th of September 2016 05:55:30 PM
Great share. I too have tons of cracks. I don't think I realized how sick I was until my A found recovery and then my sickness was such much more apparent. So grateful for this program and to know I am not alone. Thanks for the ESH.
Chucking too with all --- Kenny - lovely response!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Something I've come to understand is, the breaks DIDN'T come because of the ex-AH. The damage was done throughout childhood and I had already done a lot of self-work to heal some of her poor little psyche before the ex-ah came along and cracked through some of the repairs. Now, in a seemingly healthy life and relationship (so far being the two little words I can't seem to not include) the old negative records still play, the knee-jerk reactions try to win, the little voices on my shoulders forever whispering their songs of negativity trying to bring me down. I am still broken in the broken places no matter how strong the glue, underneath it, is the break. THAT thought gives me strength, acknowledging that something hits me the way it does because of damage done in the past - that I will always have to fight some initial reactions, not give in to the knee-jerk responses, step away and give something consideration to help determine the truth. Basically, to not leap without stepping back and looking!
Thanks for the listen and responds!
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
