Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: Outsiders Truly Do Not Understand Us!!!


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 11569
Date:
Outsiders Truly Do Not Understand Us!!!


So - last night at softball, we were in need of a few players (conflicts).  I asked two gals who are closer in age to me to come out and sub.  Imagine a team with 3 women over 50 not only taking the field, but rocking it!!!  We had fun, enjoyed the game and it's very flattering to still be able to 'game' as we all age.

I've known these gals for a long while and they are softball friends.  We spend quite a bit of time together during 9 months of the year and touch base at times during the winter.  One knows much more of my story as her husband is an A who was a LEO who got into some big trouble over money, prostitution, alcohol and more.  I supported her through all this and did share my story with her.  

The other is in a miserable marriage - doesn't talk about it - don't know why and don't ask.  She's reasonably quiet and hard to read at times.  Lovely to talk with one on one - very stand-off-ish in a larger group.

Anyways, we were all 3 walking out together and I shared that my AH was out of town for a golf weekend.  I told them about dancing in my undies and doing a cartwheel and having cereal for dinner as I've shared here.  Well - they both turned and looked at me as if I had 3 horns and 5 eyes.  I literally laughed out loud and said - Well...perhaps I'm the only one with a brain that throws these impulsive thoughts to the front...

Just had to share as what we view as fun, freeing, empowering, etc. can often be viewed by others as nutty, crazy or just plain stupid!!!

Off to the fields - make it a great day MIP family!!!



__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 



Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 114
Date:

Last night's alanon meeting was a total riot of fun and laughter. I expect the newcomer was quite taken aback by the atmosphere and didn't "get" it but boy we sure did!! This MIP fam is the best and has saved me from well you all know. Anyway have a blast today kiddo, hit a homer for us, and just keep given 'er all you got. Those other people will wnat what you have. I know that because I saw it after my first meeting and KNEW I was home. Love ya slugger.

__________________


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 214
Date:

I'm 50 and have ALWAYS danced naked in front of my full length mirror for several years when I would get ready for work! It's just a great feeling! But I'm also very out-spoken and tend to make people laugh and be the life of the party. It's just my personality. Obviously your friends don't know how to have fun like the rest of us old women do! LOL

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:

((IAH)) I believe that others are so caught up in their own pain, anger, and chaos and denial of such that any attempt to find real joy or happiness in the simple things eludes them. I believe I was one like this prior to alanon and working the Steps.
I am pleased that you are still able to enjoy sports and are in such great physical condition Continue to enjoy it . :)

__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 472
Date:

yeah there are alot of people who dont understand our glee etc. I can atteset to he feeling of freedom and relief when we have used alanon and we feel so good. I love that i can be myself,dance,laugh,be silly. I often get werid looks. Its sad really. Recently i went to a taping of 2 Broke girls and was so excited doing something new. it was grueling and while the 50 of us were walking miles on the lot to the set, i was cracking some funny jokes. my guy laughed but the other people were stone serious. I always thought that it was Los Angeles" people that didnt'get me'.
now i see that people in your area dont 'get you' mm
no worries BE HAPPY !!! LOL
a

__________________
ALYCE R KINIKIN


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1662
Date:

Your joy looks good on you.

(((((( hugs))))



-- Edited by Iamhere on Sunday 31st of January 2021 11:08:36 AM

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 2200
Date:

Tee-hee
Keep on rocking!!

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1152
Date:

So true. But how many people have it pointed out to them in meetings that they have forgotten how to laugh and have fun. We have some readings about that very thing in our daily readers. If it hadn't been pointed out to me I may not have examined it and made sure that I had more fun in my outlook on life. I have had many very serious years with serious problems (so I thought) and I forgot to be happy. My goal when I entered AlAnon was to be happy again. This is such a good topic.

__________________
maryjane


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 11569
Date:

Thank you all for your great shares - made me consider how I was before recovery. I was the miss perfect who would never have been caught under-dressed and it certainly would have been immature of me to 'bust a move'....at almost any time! I was so serious and so full of worry, anger, etc. - I am one described in the daily readers who forgot how to have fun.

I am so grateful that the program gave me that back and so many other gifts. I was the sour-puss serious one almost all the time. I love that you all 'get it' and know what a gift it is to find joy in anything - big or small!

I sent my husband a text asking if his golf was going well and if he was having fun. He actually called back and we talked about the trip, his golf game and his friend who is still in the hospital. It was a brief conversation but nice to hear that he's having fun.

Do something fun MIP family - it sure feels good!

__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 



Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 436
Date:

I had stopped having fun too. Carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders didn't allow time for fun!

I do have fun now. My fun is little quiet things. Warm things that make me chuckle.

In the past my fake fun was loud and brash. I used to pretend I found the drunks on my life making their 'witty' jokes funny. To try and keep the peace. it felt very false and dishonest inside me. Cost me a lot of myself.

I love recovery humour. That deep understanding I feel in it. Fellowship.

Great discussion, thanks all.



__________________

Grateful to put the heavy weight down.

 

 

 

Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.