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Post Info TOPIC: Update :)


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3496
Date:
Update :)


I have exciting news which I'm still a little unsure about, .. my ex has agreed to a settlement.  I am in SHOCK.  I'm still reeling 2 days later.  What I am not reeling about is realizing nothing has changed .. I know you would think I would learn .. LOL .. however whatever it is what it is, and he is who he is.  He's no longer MY issue.  He is his OWN issue and to the tune of 25k.  How's that working for him and the wife?  It will be interesting.

Anyway, it's really been crazy this week and I am trying to tread water at the moment with the job, kids, finances. 

Guess what .. I have a boyfriend .. IKR .. the woman who was never going to date again has been on a wild ride and met someone who is pretty neat.  There are some complications in terms of separation after a long term dysfunctional marriage and working on a divorce.  We are taking things VERY slowly.  I am in NO hurry on any level.  He's someone who likes being in a relationship, I'm insisting he be on his own for a while .. LOL .. not to mention I'm not giving up a penny of alimony .. LOL!  So we are looking at the future in terms of he's asked me to his office holiday party.  I have never had a relationship with a guy who we talk about everything.  He asks questions and I am forced .. which isn't the right word .. he asks though and I feel compelled to answer honestly and be honest not just with him, myself as well.  We have been seeing each other when we can for about a month .. and I say when we can because it's not often, LOTS of phone calls and texting .. LOL.  He's very busy and so am I honestly.  This weekend I am going out with my girlfriend and her bf, it's kind of cool heading out to Lebanese food and jazz music.  I am excited about that, my guy can't go because he's working his 3rd job, so like I said very busy.  I'm grateful because at the first of the year he will be down to 2 jobs.  We will have more time with each other.  He's meeting the kids at the end of this month.  They are excited .. lol .. my daughter says she can tell this one 

 



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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism.  If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown

"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 17196
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((Serenity)) I am happy for you-- Positive thoughts on the way.

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 2200
Date:

It sounds as if life is filling up with good things!

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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 5075
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woo, great news about the settlement and even better news about the boyfriend. What are we Alanon women like, getting out there and getting a life!!!!! Amazing. I love dating, its definitely being a vehicle for revealing more about me and not to put a dampener on it, I can see more of the damage within me caused by alcoholism through my relationship. I can be a bit me, me, me a bit childish and demanding but then again I like finding more of the truth of me and getting a chance to practice a different way to see things. Anyway, enjoy your weekend and the beginning fo a new relationship.x



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Senior Member

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Posts: 114
Date:

Good to see the instrumentals of the dissolving of your marriage are coming to pass in a beneficial way for you and yours! The "this is mine and that's yours" stage of breaking up is the worst part of an unhealthy relationship. Like it's the "stuff" or the $ we are struggling over and not the craziness of the relationship lol?! Good luck with the new fella! So nice to be in the beginning stages of a new relationship... it sounds as if he's no stranger to difficulties so he won't be too shocked at anything you've been through! How great is it to be able to be your authentic self with another person?

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Senior Member

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Posts: 214
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I'm very proud of you for being willing to open your heart and mind and get involved with someone else! Right now the thought of getting involved with any man and making another wrong choice and hooking up with an addict makes me sick to my stomach. I've had 3 serious relationships all of them have been with addicts. I'm done with men for now in order to protect my own sanity!!!!

I hope this relationship give you everything you deserve to have and feel in life!!!

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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 11569
Date:

Hey (((Serenity))) - so glad you stopped in and gave an update! Love how the program is working well in you! Sending you continued hugs, prayers and positive thoughts - you go girl!!!

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 



Senior Member

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Posts: 472
Date:

Being with my new guy for 9mths ow, i can see im different. I can be myself and also be independant. It is so nice having all the things i didnt have with my x, like cuddling, talking in the middle of the night in the same bed, listening and sharing,kindness etc Congrats on the new guy.

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ALYCE R KINIKIN


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 661
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So happy for you and all of your great news, Serenity! You deserve to be loved and appreciated, and it sounds like this relationship might do just that for you. Take it slow, communicate well, and remember to honor your boundaries (these are just suggestions, BTW, and not advice!). The start and hope of a new relationship is so exciting and amazing! You go girl!

GE

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~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1277
Date:

Is it weird for you Serenity to say "I have a boyfriend"? My past relationships had me going from zero to married so fast that the "I have a boyfriend" or "I'll ask my boyfriend" stage never really hung around very long. I've only "had a boyfriend" since June with no marriage question or thoughts in sight (NOOOO!!!!!) lol and I am enjoying just enjoying it. I bought my house (congratulations to me!) he lives nearby in his own house (walking distance yay!), so far has no big issues I can't live with (uh yeah, beware the so far) and I'm getting used to using the words "my boyfriend".



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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
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