The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
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HI there I'm new and need help I have been with my boyfriend for a year now and when I meet him I thought he was the greats guy and still is when he don't drink. Latter I found out he has a past with DUIs and has a record. I looked past the cuse we all have a past. I fell in love with him and still im. The thing is that we drink and had good times intell I noticed he stared drinking a lot more lost jobs and keeps drinking even when I asked him not to. I go to work and come home to him being drunk. Now I still drink but don't drink with him or willing not to drink when he is around. But I still like to drink socially and he blames me and says if u didn't drink I won't too now I can't trust him cuse 90%of the time he lies to me about drinking. So i think it has nothing to do with me he just puts the blame on me.I want to make it work but I also don't want to give up socially drinking. Does an one have an advice.
-- Edited by Rebrose8 on Tuesday 30th of August 2016 05:14:05 PM
Welcome to MIP Rebrose8 - glad that you found us and glad that you shared. We really don't give advice in Al-Anon, so can't tell you what to do or what not to do. I would suggest you go to some Al-Anon meetings to better understand the disease and the diseased. I had to learn it was a sickness and not a choice. Most alcoholics are in denial that they have a problem and most certainly look outside themselves for the cause or reason.
There is help and hope for you in Al-Anon. Keep coming back - you are not alone!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks just need to talk and maybe talk to some people that have been same place. I know it's a sickness I have other people in my life that are alcoholic. Going to try a meeting this week.
It has worked for my husband and I for 28 years - however, he was already a recovering alcoholic when we met and I didn't drink at all while we were dating or when we first got married. Probably after being married for 10 years I began drinking socially and have ever since. He is fine with that but like I said he has been sober for 30 + years. I think in your situation it would be harder for someone that is trying to quit drinking to stay sober if he is around someone that drinks even socially. In my opinion it would be like putting a gambling addict in a casino with other gamblers and expecting them to not gamble. But that is just my opinion. I wish you the best in finding your answers and a solution! Prayers for you!
I gave up smoking and lived with smokers and I have to admit it made it harder for me in the beginning. I agree it does depend on the individual though.
