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Post Info TOPIC: Courage to Change (C2C) 8/26/16


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 11569
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Courage to Change (C2C) 8/26/16


Today's reading talks about looking back and reproaching ourselves for not knowing what we did not know.  As I type that, I remember wondering and now - I see how silly it seems to me to be in 'black and white'.  How of course could we know what is not revealed to us?

We see when looking back that this disease often leaves messy tracks all over all lives which we don't see until/unless we honestly look for them and change.  Denial - that common word we all use for others - is also very strong in those of us living with or loving one with this disease.  It is one of the chief thinking symptoms of this family disease.  Some of us deny the drinker has a problem and others are too willing to blame him/her for OUR problems.  We want to and often succeed in denying our own participation because we alone can't defeat this disease.  We instead invest ways to survive the constant crises, broken promises, lost hopes and embarrassments.  One way we cope is to deny the unpleasant or terrifying reality.

We learn in Al-Anon more productive ways to cope with the disease - ways that don't cost so much in loss of self.  We become able to face reality with the support of other members, the tools and principles that offer direction.  We can even go beyond mere survival and begin to live again in recovery.  Amazing program we have!

Today's reminder --  At all times, I have done the best I was able to do.  If my only way to cope with a difficult situation was to deny it, I can look back with compassion to that person who saw no better option at the time.  I can forgive myself and count my blessings for having come so far since then.

Today's quote is from Katherine Mansfield ---  "Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can't build on it; it's only good for wallowing in."

I spent a ton of time in denial prior to arriving at Al-Anon.  I believe it shifted and I knew there was an issue with my alcoholic, but I was more than willing to deny my participation in the chaos and drama in my own home.  I was one who felt if they would just stop drinking, we'd all be/get better.  I did not want to admit I was part of the issue as that would make me retire my superwoman uniform!  

When I began to listen and slowly hear the experiences of others, I found I was not alone in my thoughts, actions, efforts and insanity.  Yet, they had risen above the chaos I felt and appeared peaceful, serene and happy.  I really wanted what they had, but my own denial stood in the way for a while.  I felt like I was walking along a fence - one side with my will and my power and the other - recovery and the power of the program.

I finally found the grace to own my insanity and powerlessness.  From there forward, it's been progress towards  better way of living and owning my own truth.  I no longer look outside myself for the cause of my issues/feelings, but rather work with my HP and sponsor to see what is it about me that has me feeling or acting a certain way.  I can no longer deny that we are all imperfect persons in an imperfect world, doing the best we can at the time.  I can now peacefully allow others to be exactly who they are and still love them from across the street.

TGIF -Thank goodness, it's Friday!  Make it a great day folks and (((Hugs))) to all!



__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:

Thankss I AH Love this page and the reminder that at all times I have done the best I could. When I knew better (thanks to alanon tools) I did better . Denial of my feelings and the reality of my life was my go to tool as I had no other
Thanks t alanon I now have HP and a huge tool box.
Thanks for yur service.

__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
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