The other day I heard from my attorney and we are another step closer to having things pushed through court.  The last court appearance hopefully ever .. however .. LOL .. time will tell. 

I'm waiting for things to seriously blow up on my X in regards to money with the wife.  You know it doesn't matter and I'm sure somehow this is my fault in his world it has nothing to do with his lack of transparency, the lying, I believe the continued drinking.  Once again hiding things such as the fact he got a 2+$ an hour raise.  My favorite comment from her recently was "without communication there can be no healing" .. Umm .. my response was without transparency there is no honesty and there is no communication worth having.  I have not heard back from her especially given she knows exactly what I'm talking about with the 2$ hour raise they tried not to talk about.  LOL .. whatever ..

Well, all I can say is I'm so glad I no longer live in the state of Illinois .. holy cow that is going to be a seriously HUGE mini explosion of nuclear proportion.  I think his attorney is going to tell him these are the numbers deal with it.  Which I'm actually afraid for his attorney, my X has a tremendous amount of rage towards his attorney that he has in the past verbalized to me. 

There is a lot X blames his attorney for .. having to pay child support (even those that's a law .. LOL), the money he owes (that's not his fault after all he was following his attorney's advise), the TRO and violation (that was the kids fault and mine), the fact he lied to his current wife (my fault), the fact he's choosing not to be transparent now (that's the system's fault it's completely unfair refer to all of the reasons before).  I actually am concerned about that I'm waiting for a text from him when he hears the final numbers he's not going to be happy.  I don't think he's expecting the amounts to go up at this point.  I'm looking at close to 100$ a week more that's very huge for the kids and I.  It offsets what I'm having taken out of my check for insurance, and other benefits for the kids and I.  I am doubling up on insurance for the eye glasses and dental and also we can start working out at a gym at a very discounted rate so the kids are very excited to be able to have somewhere to go over the weekends .. should be a lot of fun. 

So now I wait for the mini nuclear explosion that is going to happen .. there is no IF it's when.  I'm getting that feeling again .. ugh.  I know him way to well. 

Anyway, my sponsor is still very sick :( I'm so sad.  Please send prayers of healing as well as relief for her pain.  Out of anyone of this world I do not understand the lesson that she is suppose to have and honestly I feel angry (feeling not a fact .. LOL .. it's an appropriate feeling too, I want to rage at God and spit into the wind .. yet I already know the end results from that) about it that after everything she has been through she must endure this as well.  She is surrounded by family and loved ones.  I'm grateful for that and I'm very grateful I got to spend some time with her when I came to visit.  I love that lady, if I could have picked my family I would have chosen her for my mom.  This is soul shattering. 

Thanks in advance for reading my wandering thoughts so early in the morning .. LOL.

Hugs S :)