The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for August 20 speaks about the black-and-white thinking that many of us depended upon when entering program . The reading points out that thanks to Al-Anon's principles and tools, we can learn to view situations in a more objective manner and, while keeping an open mind, learn to accept more easily, that we have choices. These choices enable us to face life with courage and accept that at other times we stumble and are awkward in our responses.
Today's reminder is important to accept-- as it stresses that we are to continue to examine our thoughts and actions as a method of discovering our true self-worth, not as a weapon against ourselves. We must l learn to be more gentle with ourselves .
The quote is from As We Understood; "sometimes we try so hard fail to see that the light we are seeking is within us."
I love to meditate on today's reading and finally accept the fact that Al-Anon is not a self improvement program but a self acceptance program-- when I finally did learn to accept myself for who I was, it was much easier for me to become willing to let go of the negative tools that I held on to. I saw how they were hurting me and I did not want to do that any longer.
Self-acceptance vs -improvement. That's a big one for me. There's definitely no self-acceptance section in the bookstore. "Courage to change the things I can" includes myself. I loved the quote about the light we are seeking is within us. If I accept myself, I will see the light with the help of HP and the program, since it's already there.
Yes I agree Mcat . I have found that if I accept myself as I am, and not blame or justify my actions I can see how the negative tools that I used in an effort to protect myself really hurt me and then I can become willing to let them go. Once this is done, the light that has been hidden can be accessed and depended upon to guide me in a healthy manner while providing me with the courage, serenity and wisdom I need.
Good morning all - today's reading is a great one.....thank you Betty for your service, ESH and the daily. Thanks Mcat for your ESH too.
I was very rigid and my processing, thinking, attitudes and emotions were extremely black/white. I was all in or all out. It was right or wrong. I could keep going - bottom line, I lacked any shades of gray in my 'way of living, doing, thinking, etc.' When I came to Al-Anon, I was sad, angry, broken and felt very defeated. As I began to listen and then practice what was suggested, I began to really understand that 2+5=7 but so does 3+4. I had to accept me exactly as I was and celebrate the differences in me and those I loved. It is in Al-Anon that I really began to let go or many patterns of thinking, processing, acting and reacting and let God into my heart, soul and mind.
For so very long, I felt I was right and others were wrong. I believe in some ways, I needed to be right for my own selfish reasons - self-worth & self-esteem. How on Earth could I be as crazy as my qualifiers - if we're all crazy, we are doomed.....this was a fear I had when I began to accept me. Quickly I learned that there were answers and solutions, and they were present in each step of this program as well as in adopting the Al-Anon principles for living.
I stopped fighting everything and everyone - including me. I began to see things around me as they were, whether I liked them or not. I gained clarity is seeing what was mine and what was not. I worked to clean up my side of the street and allow others to have theirs. I learned to respond with kindness instead of indifference or anger and each small change I tried showed me there was power in being powerless.
So grateful that each day is a new day for learning, loving and living. How could I, so sad/broken/hopeless upon arrival be gifted with so much peace and serenity today? It's because of the miracles around me that I never even noticed before.
Happy Saturday to one and all - off to my F2F meeting in a short while....Make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
