The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's c2c is about sponsoring, and how we might reject the idea of sponsoring someone because we believe that we don't have enough recovery or, wqe don't have enough to offer another person.
The reading suggests that our HP brings into our lives people that can help us grow, so if someone asks us to sponsor them it could be an opportunity for both people to grow together.
The reminder is that being a sponsor is a commitment to ourselves rather than a "favor" to someone else. It gives us a chance to share intimately, and also to practice detachment and all of the principals of the program in a new and conscious way. It also reminds us that often we find that what we say to another person is what we in fact need to hear ourselves, so we can learn a lot about ourselves by what we say/do when we sponsor another person in al-anon.
"Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think". (Henry Wadsworth Longfellow).
***
Sponsoring is indeed an excellent opportunity to practice detachment and apply our al-anon toolkit in a very conscious way. I notice that someone else has spoken about sponsoring on the board today and how their own sense of perfectionism has held them back which is a really interesting point and something that has crossed my mind at times as well..."I am not ready/worthy/have nothing to offer". Remembering that this is a program of progress and not perfection is important; to sponsor you aren't required to be an "al-anon expert" because there is no such thing! The same principals that help us grow in the program apply just as well to sponsoring- willingness to learn and grow and, I would add, it is a great way to practice LISTENING without ACTING, and trusting that another person has the resources inside them and a HP of their own that they can find themselves with a little encouragement and patience
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
This is a very important reading and one that helped me tremendously when I first agreed to be a sponsor. The reading helped me to accept that Al-Anon is a fellowship of equals, and that while we are each attempting to learn how to live life in a constructive manner. We can so so by passing along what we have learned to other members without interfering .
What I have learned in the process is that I can be compassionate, empathetic, loving and kind without trying to fix the situation or giving advice. That was a powerful lesson and one I could not have learned any other way.
Great topic and share Ms.M. Thanks for your service
Thanks MissMel for your service and the daily! Thanks to both for the ESH. As with most things, my tendency when I considered sponsoring others was to freak out, overthink it and plan expectations....*sigh* - my sponsor is so good at pulling gently on my reins to slow me, and is very good about telling me that she loves our time together and our work/growth. It is in sponsorship that we get to practice sharing ESH without expectations, mothering, controlling, etc. and a humbling way for me to be reminded that we are all equal, just trying to improve ourselves through guidelines/tools suggested.
So grateful for my sponsor and grateful for the experience of helping others through sponsorship. Make it a great day!!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I was a sponsor but I am not sure if I am still. Complicated but short. She seems to have backed out & left it hanging. I have a sponsor who lives 60 miles away & we text almost daily w gratitude texts. I am grateful for my sponsor. That's it.
