The material presented
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to exchange
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i haven't posted in a while other than my Tuesday shares. I am having a hard time today. About to put my house on the market, and after almostvthree years apart and my ex AH begging and pleading with me he has now met someone new. There is no earthly reason that I am bothered by this but I am having a hard time. Physically I feel like i did three years ago-- I can't sleep and I am so nauseous all the time.
I think-- even though I know it isn't healthy, i was so used to his pleading with me that now that his attention is ok someone else I feel kind of unmoored. It is embarrassing to even admit it! This is my ego? like I made this decision which was so difficult (to divorce), knowing he is not getting sober and I couldn't live with it-- and now he's getting to go forward with someone new and I am all of a sudden the not feeling any progress that I've made. I apologize for the venting rant-- I just have not felt so out of my mind in quite a while.
((Mary))) All change is difficult and that is why it takes "courage"'.Please remember that HP has not brought you this far just to drop you on your head-- You are not alone.
Prayers and positive thoughts on the way.
Thank you so much Betty. I know I am looking at things on the outside as a call for what's happening or not happening on the inside and that is not an accurate meter. I went way backward the past few days. I so appreciate your support
(((Mary)) I found that at times like this I had to do as you have :Own my feelings, share about them and once I have , they lift quickly. Knowing that denial and pretending does not work, you have acted in your own best interest and turned it over. Prayers continue.
Thanks Betty. I have definitely been reaching out to all my people today; sharing here, with sponsor; trying to focus on readings. I dislike that I am having such a strong physical reaction but am trying to accept that I can't do anything about that.
Im really feeling that a lot of what I had to push through to get through to the divorce is coming back at me now. Trying to breathe
(((Mary))) - so very sorry that you've hit a pothole on your path.....I agree with Betty - as humans, we resist change often - even when change is good, for the better, chosen. It's still 'different' and for me, at my age/stage, my first fear often is will I be able to handle it? Will I be able to learn a new normal? What will it look like?
When it comes to relationships, things are even more complicated. I know for me, I often still mourn that which I thought we would be or would have. It's a process for me to circle back around and realize/remember that HP has a plan, I don't know what it is, but all that I experience and go through are related to his will and his plan. A part of me (maybe ego) still at times wants things to go 'my way'.
I also agree with Betty - be gentle with you and lean into your program. You have come a long way and you are a different person than you were before. As I often hear from others, this too shall pass!
We're here for you as the next chapter unfolds. Grateful for you too!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
thank you so much for your kind words. I am accepting that today is one of those that I have to tell myself things like 'next you will clear off the table' and 'now you'll have some water'. I am reminding myself how to live!! I know I am mourning all that was good in my marriage and all that never came to pass. Thank you for being w me
Why wouldn't it feel weird! We are all human and letting go of stuff feels unsettling even when it is for the best. Sounds like you are drawing on the great tools that you have and using them well. This too will pass! Big ((((hugs)))))
