The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
decided not to tell new guy about XAH's call but thought XAH deserves some reconition after 25 yrs, so printed simple note and sent it. thanking him for all the concerts, trips and gifts i recieved from him. Also thanking him for the support when i was sick and also support when i was grieving the loss of my sister,mom, and dad. I feel better now. After all, everything in life is not all bad or good.
((Alyce))) I believe you were kind and supportive to your X. Ii would always ask myself why i was telling the other person about the contact. Ask myself-What was I looking for and if it was simply to keep honest communication open then i would do so,if I wanted to play the game and get somone jealous than I would not .
Good for you, that sounds like you handled this well. I tell my new partner/boyfriend, am I too old to have a boy friend? lol. I tell him when i talk to my ex if it comes up. I dont make a point of telling him but I dont hide it because its not really his business anyway and if he has insecurities around that then they are his to deal with. We both have baggage, were both in our forties with ex partners and a past so its to be expected. Ive learned to be an individual and not take responsibility for anyone elses issues, to me these are the things I cant control in the serenity prayer. I am me and share whats good for me and if anyone doesnt like it then thats not my business. Ive left those peope pleasing days behind mostly.
thanks el-cee and all...im 58 and not too old to have a boyfriend although there doesnt seem to be a good word to describe one when u are older[guy,lover,man,baby,companion,] see they dont really describe what is often a wonderful mature,usually physical relationship etc..grrr I will not tell new guy if it doesnt come up. it has been difficult enough to fall in love while splitting with AH. the timing was not planned and though wonderful has pitfalls grrr. i just felt that for closure i needed to do this..for me mostly.
Hey Alyce - I'm in 'a mood' so.....how's about main squeeze? Ha.ha.ha.ha.....
So glad you found an answer for your world!! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
That scared me cause it was about secret keeping from my past experiences with my Alcoholic/Addict. We would suffer guilt and shame to no end until I got to steps 4 thru 10 and all of the "fear" lessons I could handle. Open and honest is part of our program tools which helps our courage muscles to grow. Very nice use of gratitude. ((((Hugs))))
