The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Since my last post my AH died. We had been living apart for 5 years.. I was doing some dating but no one special.
I was unhappy and alone. I hit bottom one day and asked God to help me find someone special...
Well the next day I went to a wedding and a man asked me to dance. It was so natural he was widowed. I was still married but
going through a divorce. We began seeing each other and it was great. Less than a year after knowing each other we decided to both retire and move to NC. We had a house built. He covered all the cost. I had no money, my husband had the house and I was in a rental and working overtime to pay bills...
But we were so special together. Finally after about a year and a half...we retired. My husband died and I sold my house, he sold his. We moved.
The new house is beautiful and the retirement community we moved to is wonderful. The only thing is...he drinks. More than I'm comfortable with. While we
were dating it was fine. Kill a bottle of wine every night but no alarms went off. His wife had been and alcoholic. He was careful. But when we got down her it began
to be a problem. We went to parties...he was drunk and obnoxious. Came home and passed out. Finally, i stopped drinking and he began yelling. He has become moody at
times and angry. I'm at a loss. A voice in me is screaming...get out! another one is saying : It could be a wonderful life here. It's only been 2 months since we lived together...but it's scary and I don't want it to be true
Hi Alex, I am sorry to read of the loss of your husband. Living with the disease of alcoholism is indeed a difficult road so that I would search out alanon face to face meetings in your new community and attend.
There is hope and help,
(((Alex))) - welcome back and so sorry for your loss. I agree with Betty - the answers for you can be found in Al-Anon and working the program. Remember to breathe, and just for today, be gentle with yourself!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I agree with the others, be gentle with yourself. Attending face to face meetings, as well as building up your own network of friends in your new community sounds like a good way to go. I hope that things can calm down for you - it does us no good to be watchful of what someone else is doing. Sending ((((hugs)))).
Thank you so much for your replies. It was midnight when I wrote that message. The end of a bad day. But it was a first step to being back in AlAnon. This morning I went to a great meeting. A new state but the same welcoming voices. It feels good to be back. I re-learned and was reminded of all the skills I
had let slip away. Back to my readings. Best of all I felt in control of myself again and strong knowing that I would be
ok with the help of my HP. Hugs of thanks to you all
