I'm so sorry you're in this situation.  One thing to think about might be the longterm plan.  As you probably know, unless the drinker decides to enter and work a formal program of recovery, the drinking won't stop, and in fact will get worse rather than better.  It sounds as if you are already walking on eggshells during these episodes, and you have a little one to protect.  You may not be able to take greater steps right away, but maybe you can start taking steps now so that you have more options down the line - a place of your own to retreat to, or friends who might take you in when things get insane at home, or money stashed away, or a place you can go where you can take your dog...  Not everything can be in place right away, but down the line more so. 

It does sound worrying about him falling, and the fact that he does not really know what he's doing during these episodes.  Please do protect your little one.  That was when I decided to split up from my A - one day when he endangered our toddler and I realized that it was a miracle that our little boy was not killed.  The scales fell from my eyes that day and I realized that all the good will and love in the world (and my A does love our boy) is worth nothing when the alcohol is in control.  I hope some good options will be clear soon.

Thanks for both those replies. I've known addicts, and I honestly don't think my husband is one....yet. I think he's using alcohol inappropriately to deal with his issues, and that is a very slippery slope. Even if he doesn't want to get help for his problem drinking, I believe that going to a grief support group would help him to deal in a healthy way. I am going to suggest that when his sober/not hungover. He'd likely be open to that rather than a counseling situation. But anyway, my focus is no longer on him. It's on me and baby.

I do have a plan in place in case I need to leave. My mom gave me her airline credit card in case I need to fly home. My dad just opened a savings account with my name on it. I can stash extra money that I make there. I am also planning on meeting with an attorney in my state of residency, so I am armed with the info about custody and property. I'm not ready to leave. There is currently too much good, but there is always the chance that won't be the case.

My other reason for not leaving is custody. If I left, I could see his drinking spiraling out of control. While my sober H would never be nasty, my drunk H could be. He might make it difficult for me to move home with baby. Drunk H would probably love seeing me stuck in a place where I didn't want to be. Also, I do not want to keep baby away from sober H. We have a realistic chance of going back to my home state in two years (work situation). At that time, I will evaluate the situation. If he has not made positive change, then it's time to leave.  What's so interesting when we are back home (it's mine, not his), he does not binge drink at all.  In fact, he never acted this way when we lived there.   

Of course, if things get out of control before we move, then I will have no choice but to leave. I've created a secret e-mail where I can e-mail myself all the incidences and nasty text messages he sends when drunk. This way I do not run the risk of him finding it anywhere. When I married him, I'd never imagined I would be doing this in a million years. But, I now have to protect myself and baby. His family has money, so they would be able to put up a legal fight. This is why documentation is so important.

Another thing that has helped me SO much is not creating daily plans around him when his triggers for binge drinking are present. He is always my Plan B. Example: he goes to bar to watch a game on Saturday early afternoon. I used to make evening plans to spend time as a couple. Then, he'd show up drunk and I would be so hurt. Now, my Plan A would be order MYSELF a pizza, put on MY favorite cheesy movie, etc. If he happens to come home sober, then great, he can join in. If he's drunk, then oh well.