The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Why am I the nut lol? My AH is loved with lots of friends. And i.m lonely. I don.T want to be the crazy one. But I guess it.s all the years of living with an alcoholic. I.ve been reading the alanon book. And it.s so me. I.ve went to one meeting. And am going to keep going. I want friends and a social.life. But one that doesn.t invlove alcohol. Thanks for letting me write my feelings down. But so many coming to the surface. Hard to deal with. But one day at a time.
LOL .. something that happened as I started to heal was that with me taking the focus OFF my XAH it came out that his shining armor for being married to the crazy B started to crack and fall off. All of a sudden I wasn't so crazy .. all of a sudden I wasn't so controlling .. all of a sudden I had a life!!
It really used to piss me off when someone would say in a meeting well they were crazier than the A .. LOL .. ummm yah think maybe someone helped get me there?! There was some truth to that statement as well .. there was a whole lot of truth of me not being the person I am. I am warped not crazy!! :) Well that would depend on who you ask and what day it is and is there a full moon out .. LOL!?
It was a lot like waking up in my own life and wondering what happened and how long exactly had I been asleep. That scared me a LOT .. after all my kids looked at me and said Dad drinks .. what's wrong with Mom?!
Trust me .. you can have all that you want .. being the change brought forth it's own challenges .. so enjoy the ride, don't forget to breathe and start living a life without fear. I am no longer with my XAH and honestly it's ok .. that was my journey. All I can say is it is one day at a time and I am truly grateful.
Keep coming back and congratulations for waking up to your life it's a great place to be!!
S :)
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Welcome Minnie ,we are all affected negatively by living with and coping with the insanity of alcoholism. I am glad that you have decided to attend alanon meetings and plan to develop a support group where you will thrive . Keep coming back there is help and hope.
Hi Minnie and welcome.
Reading what you said reminded me of the day I was preparing for a visit from my out of town family. My AH was passed out, and I was all fussed about unfairness, my additional chores, trying to look perfect, etc. Then I realized if aliens on another planet saw into our home, they would rightly pin the crazy tag on me. HA! I decided in that minute to take up the many suggestions to attend AlAnon meetings. I was not living the way I wanted at all.
That was a good realization for me. It motivated me to want to re-enter sanity for me. It made it possible for me to find myself again. I'm me again.
Here is a funny: I'm a little acorn round lying on a cocoa ground
Everybody steps on me. That is why I'm cracked you see. I'm a nut
Took myself to the movie show. Sat myself in the very first row. Wrapped my arms around my waist got so fresh I slapped my face. I'm a nut
Just thought I'd share this w you all
Isn't there a little nut in all of us
As far SD the program goes
I am in recovery. It is so important to go to meetings F 2F
I will
Keep coming back.
For me, I would rather have 1-4 close true friends that a thousand acquaintances. When I was active many moons ago, anybody who would hang with me and watch my insanity was a 'friend'. I changed friends as often as necessary to give the outward appearance of popular, fun and 'normal'. There was not a whole lot normal about it and I learned when I started recovery real friends do not want you to make an arse of yourself every night nor do they support you when your choices are bordering on criminal/insane.
Whenever I compare my insides to others' outsides, I often gave myself the short end of the stick. I no longer do - I believe with recovery I have the best life possible! Give yourself the gift of some meetings if for no other reason that to try something new and meet new people!
(((Hugs))) - keep coming back!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
