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Post Info TOPIC: Courage To Change 25/5


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1887
Date:
Courage To Change 25/5


Today's C2C is about honesty, and being able to answer questions such as 'how are you" honestly. It suggests that years of living with/covering for alcoholism and related behaviors probably means that we have been living with a great deal of angst and turmoil, whilst trying to pretend that we are "just fine" to the outside world. 

The author suggests that, without going into inappropriate detail, they try to answer questions such as "how are you" honestly, and if the answer is "not so great today" then, they say so. 

The reading further advises that we ask ourselves, honestly, "how do i feel today?" because if we answer honestly, we are more likely to either seek help when we need it, or share the good times with others when appropriate.

"We can say what we mean only if we have the courage to be honest with ourselves and with others". (The Dillema of the Alcoholic Marriage).

***

This is topical for me today, because yesterday, I attended a health care appointment and I found it hard not to try to create the impression that I am "fine" and sugar-coat the issues i was there to discuss! Then later i felt uncomfortable that I had talked about what is wrong. In the context of going to see a health care provider because something is wrong, how CRAZY is that- yet it's just so habitual for me to want everyone to believe that "everything is fine".

Definitely something to work on!!

 



__________________

If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 17196
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Honesty is a great topic Ms.M. I know that prior to program I thought being dishonest about how i felt, and what was gong on was a n asset. I did not burden others with my problems or pain.
Enter alanon and I learned that connecting with others in an honest, fashion helped to break the isolation and also helped to uncover solutions. It took tome and practice but today I know what I feel and can express it in a healthy fashion.
Thank you for your servciece and your great ESH.

__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


Senior Member

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Posts: 125
Date:

Very good topic. Thank you for sharing MissMel.

I believe the first step in this is being honest with ourselves. It took me a very long time to recognize that I was unhealthy, emotionally, and physically. I was I denial. And, as was mentioned by Betty, I never wanted to burden anyone else with my troubles. It was easier to just smile and say, "I'm doing great", when inside of my head, and heart, I was in turmoil. For me, it was also an issue of pride. I wanted everyone to think I had everything "together", when honestly, I did not.

Today, I know that I can honestly answer people when they ask. It's been a difficult thing to do, but I'm doing it. Thanks to Al-Anon, I have learned so very much about this.

__________________

Life is short, so make it beautiful and sweet.

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