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My AH uses our dog as an excuse to make what I call his "beer run".(That's his ring tone song on my cell too). I've known he does this for years (he's on his second dog) but he thinks I have no clue or I think so anyway. Sunday morning at 9:20 he comes in where I'm playing on the computer and says " the dog and I are going for a ride". Right before they leave I go out to the kitchen to warm my coffee up and he quickly tries to hide his 25 oz. can of beer behind his back. He had no where to go. I thought it was a hoot. (other then the fact he's drinking and driving) But I bet all day he wondered if I saw him hide his beer so early in the morning. One of my rules when we got married 32 years ago was no drinking until after noon. I've never said anything to him,I'm so tired of fighting about it but I think from now on I'll tell the dog it might be safer if he drove...things like that. Maybe AH will get the message I know what he's up to.It won't make a difference,won't make him stop drinking but he'll know or wonder if I know his outings with the dog are really an excuse to pound a few beers fast. Later that same day he tells the dog,"ok if I take you for your ride now we're done for the day". After they left I checked the fridge...sure enough,he was down to 2 cans of beer. He came back with a bag full.
I have notified the local cops about his nasty little habit. They told me unless they actually see him with beer or have an excuse to stop him,burned out light,speeding,etc. they can't pull him over.
Not that your post is funny, but I can't help but chuckle how dense they think we are. Perhaps because their own thinking is fuzzy or irrational, they forget that us sober ones can't be so easily fooled.
I don't know if my AH has hidden bottles anywhere - what is there to hide....he just drinks whenever he likes! However, he actually gave me this advice several years ago: my adult daughter is now in recovery, but at the time we had found a ton of empty vodka and gin bottles. After the "sweep" I wondered how I should handle anymore found alcohol (this was before my Al-Anon days). His response (an active alcoholic).....was to put whatever I found right out on the counter. Not to say anything.....just show her that I saw and knew about it......so don't even bother hiding it. Kind of interesting........an active A, telling me how to deal with another active A.
My husband does the exact same thing every day. Takes the dog for a ride, but turns the wrong way to go to convenience store to restock beer supply! I'm so glad I am not alone in this insanity!
Chuckling is OK! I smirk,LOL! We have to find humor in all this or we'd go crazy! "Humor is our survival skill". With my AH it would seem he'd get the message when he takes all his cans in for deposit. But no,he brags to others what a good deal he gets on his big cans of beer.
I'm so glad I'm not alone with the doggy car rides. too. We have stores in every direction that sell beer so he can go to a different one a few times a day. All back out in the county too. Lucky for him I guess.
It is to laugh sometimes. My wife lost her license due to a DUI. When she got it back, I remember stopping at a crowded pizza place and her saying that she would take the car t to get some gas while we were waiting to be seated. I noted that she was gone for a while, then I looked up and saw the car coming from the liquor store right across the street! She had gotten gas, and that actually did take a long time, but the quick side trip is really why she went out. I just shook my head at that point. Our lives had become unmanageable due to alcohol.
When your SOs are in these kinds of habits, it's just a matter of time until they get a DUI. Alcoholism is a progressive disease, and it will get worse, it may take weeks, months, or years. So best to be prepared with a plan of what you will do if you get the phone call from the sheriff or your SO that they are in jail for having blown 0.25. Will you bail him out? Will you support him in court, get an attorney, or say he is on his own? I think it's better to know what you will say up front, because the call can come at the most unexpected time and take you by surprise, believe me. The second DUI for me came while I was on a business trip in Toronto (live in Indiana), the call from the principal of our son's school. Wife had gone to pick him up, the police stopped her as she was pulling into the school.
BTW Both times she was picked up on DUI, our dog was with her in the car. What is it with that?
Kenny
-- Edited by KennyFenderjazz on Tuesday 24th of May 2016 10:05:08 AM
I don't think we have to hint about the drinking. If we want them to know that we know, "I know it's because you want to start drinking, and I imagine you know how I feel about it since you're trying to hide it from me, and I certainly think it's not a wise choice, but you're an adult and you make your own choices." Or whatever is the truth. Of course at first they sputter, "How could you even think I'm drinking! You're paranoid!" etc. But eventually my A would just shrug and I knew and he knew I knew. He also knew, at that point, that I'd rather stay with him even when he was drinking, because I showed it in my actions. Later on when I decided I didn't want that life any more, I showed it in my actions too. So we have both words and actions to say what we're thinking.
