The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
On Sunday, my AH and I are departing on a 1,200 mile road trip to go to see my parents in AZ. This will be the first vacation we've taken together without children in 20 years. So, I am excited to go out and see my parents - they are 81 and who knows how much longer they will be around. My brother also lives in AZ and my niece so will get to see a few others too.
I share as we are staying @ a Condo without internet and mobile reception is spotty as we're in a valley area in south AZ for the majority of our stay. I won't be here as often as usual but wanted you all to know I'll be back.
I honestly can't decide if I am crazy for taking this trip with my AH or if I am Courageous....he retired last year in August and beyond his alcoholism, he has heart disease. He's still adjusting to retirement and hasn't wanted to go any place with me so was honestly surprised when he said yes. I always offer and for the last 5-6 years, he's declined every trip I have asked him about. I have gone ahead and went on my own - usually for family or a family event and one girls trip.
I am playing ball tonight, a ball tourney tomorrow and we're leaving Sunday morning first thing. I have packed my readers, my tools and all of you into my suitcase for the journey! Send positive thoughts my way and tons of prayers please!
(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Sending you best wishes. If he's an active alcoholic, as I understand it, I hope he's not going to be driving and that you will be safe. A Plan B is always good. Take good care of yourself!
Thanks all - I am looking forward to it! I typically end up driving and we're taking my car....he also respects me enough to not drink in my car.
(((Hugs))) all - we're both nervous about it so staying in the moment will be my best tool!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I love the idea of all of us joining you in spirit on such a lovely journey - enjoy the views. Driving through your country is something that I would love to do one day.
Hey milkwood - come on over any time! I love to drive and explore and just be a part of the view. This will be the first vacation/road trip where I have no set schedule and we don't have to be some place by some day/time. Each of you at MIP is already packed into my suitcase!!!
My sponsor gave me an assignment that I have to report back each day with 5 positive things about my AH/us. I now have something else to consider/think about that might present challenges - I decided to not clarify if I could repeat....ha.ha.ha.ha.
Make it a great day to one and all...
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
We have arrived safely - made it to AZ in the middle of the night. Just wanted to check in and share that - will try to catch up later! (((Hugs))) to all - my daily schedule is already different!!! My focus today is on relaxing and being flexible.....wish me well!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Yay, thanks for checking in
Wishing you a relaxed and flexible day!! (I'm just going to imagine this means you're doing yoga).
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Hey all - I am in catch up mode but did want to share about my trip!!!
First off, we gained two hours via time zone changes. So - that's wonderful for the drive 'there' - I got good sleep after driving 18 hours straight through and didn't have to be any place or do anything special. No drag and ... since I was visiting my parents, who go to bed by 8:30pm each night, all is/was good going.
We stayed for two weeks - here's the highlights.....
1. No drama in an 18 hour car ride. Let me say this was my biggest concern - truly - I can drive or ride for days, but my AH is like a kid - wants to stop, eat, snacks, pee, etc. We made it - drama free! I did all the driving, we stopped for gas/food/pee only....made good time - only one missed turn - cost us 100 extra miles.
2. My parents are good and were happy we came. My dad and my husband golfed every other day + and had fun.
3. My mother cancelled all her normal activities, so we spent a ton of time together. This is not an easy experience - we are different but we managed.
4. We ate many good meals - too many!! I am sure I put on some weight, but refuse to check the scale for one week.
5. The weather was AWESOME! Sunshine each and every day - little/no humidity so even 90 degrees doesn't feel bad compared to what it feels like here.
6. Little/no mobile phone service. They are in a valley so I had to get creative if (key word....if) I wanted/needed to talk/text with someone.
7. Condo we stayed in had NO INTERNET....so - to use my computer, I had to also get creative.
8. Being unplugged for 2 weeks was scary but I got used to it and hope to unplug more often at home - great for prayer, meditation and just enjoying life around me.
9. It rained almost every day that we were gone. We live in KS so there's been some flooding, some power outages and not knowing if there was problems was a true test in patience for me.
10. One drama moment in the 16.5 hour return car ride. We both knew that we could do it as we already did it once. So - we missed one turn again (my AH is not a good navigator) but we only burned about 10 extra miles.
So - it went great - much better than I expected. I believe it's because I have been working hard to let go and let God - let the outcome be whatever.....we are both officially retired so I need to learn to relax and that's what I have been working on too! My mother is not doing super well so it's possible I will go back again at some point this year and I now know I can do the drive if need be, how to get there, how long it takes, etc. Her heart is failing, and she's drinking daily. She's weak enough that she indulges in a couple glasses of wine, get's sappy or belligerent and then is ready for bed....
I did manage to read 5 books, went to the pool almost every day, walk my 5 miles each morning and provide some service to my parents....
I did not make it to a meeting, so went yesterday and it was good to be 'home'.
I am grateful to the program for teaching me to just be. I am grateful for the tools I can use to not react and recognize what is mine and what is not mine. Lastly, I thank all of you who rode with me and carried me virtually through this trip to see my parents. (((Hugs))) to all!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Sounds to me like a brilliant idea. It will offer you growth, whether it is challenging or not. I think its good to step out of our comfort zone and shake off the cobwebs. What a brilliant opportunity to practice detaching with love and living one day at a time. Enjoy!!!
Thanks all - I would and will do it again....I do like that this program gave me the freedom to go and do and be me. For the last 10 + years, I have had great fear of leaving town - someone always got arrested or other drama/chaos happened. Now that both of my boys are beyond adult age and they've used up their "one and done" for jail bond + my program, I know and feel that it's perfectly acceptable for ME to take care of ME and enjoy life.
I've been officially retired for 13 years, and have never acted like it. I have a home based business, which is more of a hobby than an income. Yet, in my actions and attitudes, I've never acted like a retired person. This is for me a great mind-set to adopt and practice and that's my goal for this 'season' of recovery. I am planning a return trip to FL to visit my nephew and wife without all the other family and considering another trip to AZ. If my AH doesn't want to go, I will fly - if he does, we will drive. We'll see what happens next but with each 'new adventure' I feel more and more confident in living my life with joy and peace!!
(((Hugs))) to all!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
