The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I know I can't control him or cure him but some days, it hurts me so deeply that I am at the bottom of his prority list. I am very ill today and he said he would bring me ginger ale on his way home, should be about half an hour he said. 3 hours ago and I know he has been drinking all day and " one more" takes priority over me all the time. Today because I need him, it hurts Immensely. Why can't for just one day can I not mean more to him than alcohol? I can't say anything to him when he eventually gets home, no point in trying to reason with a drunk. I am detaching and trying to do that with love but I sometimes feel this just gives him permission to behave badly. I have so much resentment today. my weekly FTF meetings and this board help me very much but I am so exhausted and tired of his behaviour. The stupid thing is I know he loves me, but I believe he loves alcohol more at this point and cannot stop the binging. I am trying to be patient but quickly wearing thin.
same here.. detaching still feels like I am giving him permission to continue as there is no argument from me. I think he loves this "new" me! I do my steps but still seething inside. It almost kills me not to say something :(
I know how you feel for sure
((Jenny)) I am so sorry that you are ill and upset over this dreadful disease. Knowing that alcoholism is a disease helped me to accept that the actions of the alcoholic were unpredictable and not a reflection of my worth.
Staying in the moment and in the day, praying the serenity prayer, and accepting the fact that not reacting to the disease is the healthiest response to the situation works.
There you go Jenny P...yeppers you have to rely on your imagination however that's more that what you have gotten from him. That just isn't one can or bottle of ginger ale...it's a whole picture of sweet and cold and satisfying bubbly refreshment. Enjoy. (((((hugs))))) Shooootz you got a hug with it.
(((Jennyp))) - my hope is you are feeling better today. It is only through practice, practice, practice and then some more practice that I can accept the actions of my qualifiers do not reflect on how they view/feel/see me....I am loving and lovable!! I understand your frustration and love to see you reaching out for support in your time of need!
Positive thoughts and prayers for healing headed your way!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
