The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have gained a great deal of strength from this board, and turn to posting tonight as a step in my own recovery, which has been going on for over 33 years.
The last two months have been unrelenting. Two of my sisters have medical conditions that have required a great deal of time and attention. I love them both, and have healthy relationships with both. Both have anxiety; one is in recovery. My 83 year old wonderful father and friend is increasingly fragile.
My brother has battled mental health challenges for most of his life, and has done enormous work to recover and advance his life during all of it. He relapsed last Monday night after seven months of recovery; he tried to climb back out for the rest of the week. He went to work on Friday, and on the way to meet a counselor he had contacted, he stopped off at a pub and drank for two hours. He passed out in the parking lot, and was taken to a hospital across the street. His BAC was .34 after two hours of drinking. He was in the ICU but is now in a step down room. I am grateful beyond words that he survived and did not harm anyone in his car.
I don't know what tomorrow holds. But I do know I am not in control of any of it. I will support as I can within my own limits. I am very grateful for my husband and my daughter, both of whom are wonderful to me. I feel badly that my little family's life is affected by all the chaos, but I am very grateful to the program for the fact that I don't feel responsible for the chaos. That's a huge advancement for me.
I do, however, need to sleep more and eat more: writing it down here is a step for me. Thank you for listening: hope everyone has a good start to the week.
Welcome and thanks for sharing your experience strength and hope. It sounds like you have great awareness and acceptance of life on lifes terms and your doing the best you can with it. Just for today all is well and thats about all we can live with. I suggest making an extra effort to make this a good day for you. You have a lot to be grateful for by the sounds of it.x
Thank you for this message, it is a great reminder about letting go. I hope that you have slept well, enjoyed sweet dreams and found some delicious food as well.
I'm also inspired to join you in celebrating Shakespeare - I wish I could remember his words more often, so relevant, even today!
-- Edited by milkwood on Monday 25th of April 2016 06:02:13 AM
Thank you Vorpal! Your E,S & H helped me today. It's so hard when we can rationalize the solutions like you so eloquently did, but having the heart meet the head can be so difficult. I'm going to pray for you as well. Pray that you can let go and have the heart and head meet with serenity.
Love this: you wrote
I don't know what tomorrow holds. But I do know I am not in control of any of it. I will support as I can within my own limits. I am very grateful for my husband and my daughter, both of whom are wonderful to me. I feel badly that my little family's life is affected by all the chaos, but I am very grateful to the program for the fact that I don't feel responsible for the chaos. That's a huge advancement for me.
Huge (((Hugs))) Vorpal....sending calming thoughts and prayers your way - and I agree - it sounds as if you are managing quite well while there are external forces in action. Letting go and acceptance appear to me to be alive and well in your program. My hope is that you found relief here by sharing and got some rest!
Keep coming back and thanks for your lovely share!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you very much to everyone who posted back to me here: it is exceedingly generous of you. In times of great darkness, these kind words are like little candles that help to light the way. Today was, well, horrific, but I am still alive this evening and hope to wake up to the new day tomorrow. I'm going to return again and read your words again along with my literature as soon as I wake up tomorrow.
I feel like Shakespeare could have been talking about fellowship when he wrote,
"How far that little candle throws his beam! So shines a good deed in a weary world."
Aloha Vorpal and thank you also for that sober share. This is how I learned program when I first got here while the experiences were all different the results were the same...Peace of mind and serenity. (((((hugs)))))
Sleep well Vorpal, lovely to think of the candlelight!
I've often felt that the breeze here in Europe is a touching connection to my MIP friends in other parts of the world so now when the candlelight flickers I'll smile and think of you all.
I too love the candle analogy - I love candles too! My prayers also continue for you and yours and the positive thoughts continue to flow your way!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
