Hello Stormyyoda I am glad you found us and reached out. Alcoholism is a dreadful, chronic , progressive disease that affects the enter family. I can identify with the feelings you expressed and found a program of recovery from myself when I could no longer cope with the madness in my home.

Alanon is that program. Face to face meetings are held in most communities an the hot line number is in the white pages. We also hold on line meetings in the chat room, so I urge you to reach out and connect with others who truly understand.

You are not alone and there is hope

Hello and welcome to MIP! I think every person here has felt these same feelings about their spouse/BF/GF or whomever their qualifier (alcoholic) is. It just becomes too overwhelming to face alone and we certainly understand.

You are not alone here!

I post very rarely, but your simple plea caused me to "hear" my own words so clearly. I have been married to my AH for over 20 years, but in some ways it seems like just yesterday. Other ways, it seems like forever!

The Al-anon program is a very helpful and caring one in which you can gain knowledge and understanding. Not for the alcoholic in your life, but for yourself! Even if you live in a tiny, backwoods town in the great South like I do, where meetings are well over 25 miles away, only one day a week, and a night, you can still find a way to get help by using the tools and listening to the people here share their personal stories.

For some unfamiliar with what this program really offers, it may seem foolish to get in a group setting and talk about yourself (like you see on TV), but Al-anon is not like a TV show and it really is a way to find help and answers for yourself. We aren't here to find ways to stop our spouses or other qualifiers from drinking because a very primary step is fully understanding that we are powerless over alcohol (and over the actions) of others. The only person we can control is ourself and the only one we can change is ourself. It is often when we realize this fully that change can actually occur within our own minds. But, no matter how long we have been practicing the principles of this program, we must be gentle with ourselves because we are all miracles in progress and we must strive to work toward our own happiness.

No one here should give advice or will tell you what to do (unless you express physical danger), but we will gladly share our heartfelt life experiences and help you to find the peace, serenity, and happiness you have lost to the disease of alcohoism.

Again, welcome to MIP and please know you are not alone!

(((Stormyyoda))) - hugs to you and welcome to MIP. So glad you found us and glad you shared. I too can relate to your place in life, and wanted to also share that there is hope. Few people understand what living with this disease does to a family, but as suggested above, the folks in Al-Anon do. The meetings are a great place to share without judgement and to listen as others share their ESH (Experience, Strength & Hope). Recovery is possible no matter what he is or is not doing, and my life improved greatly when I began in Al-Anon.

You can look for local meetings in the phone book or online. We often call them face-to-face (F2F) meetings. We also have 2 meetings each day online here - look up to the top left for the schedule and a link to the meeting/chat room.

Keep coming back - there's a ton of helpful information here at MIP and it's been a lovely home away from home for me! One Day at a Time is how we focus!!

 

Aloha Stormy if you have yet not done it I suggest going to the white pages of your local telephone book and looking for the hotline number for the Al-Anon Family Groups.  Call that number to see where we get together in your area in face to face meetings and then make the choice to come as early as you can.  We know how you are feeling and what you are thinking at the moment.   It is called insanity of alcoholism...it is temporary when you participate in the fellowship of recovery.   Don't take his drinking personally and no matter what he may say, it isn't your fault; you did not cause it, you cannot control it and will not be able to cure it.  The disease is progressive and he gets to determine in what direction.  Gome join us in the rooms and also take part in the on-line meeting here twice daily.           

 

Keep coming back, this works when you work it.  ((((hugs))))

I've been affected from the time we were married, realizing that (or perhaps not denying anymore) only years later. Learned about Al-anon, became a "visitor", didn't understand it much or was I stubborn still.
Early this year I told myself, enough of all the misery, I want out of this marriage. Went back to Al-anon, it seems the only group I can go to for that much needed moral support because I was determined to file legal separation (there's no divorce in my country). I seriously took Al-anon because I will be needing all the support I could get, because I know my FOO will not understand.
Searched for and f2f, found none, attended 2 AA's because that's all there is. I was directed to another wife also looking for Al-anon f2f, we had 2 meetings then decided to just get in touch by phone or email as we live 2 hours drive from each other. Someone from AA suggested that I read Al- anon literatures. That started it, then I got amazingly reconnected to this group. Am still here, still married to the same man - still a binge drinker & still will not accept he is an alcoholic. Still looking for an f2f, a sponsor perhaps, and still keeps coming back :)

Hugs,
Jocel

Just wanted to welcome you and express my understanding and compassion. I have been in your place and still find myself struggling at times. Its a process. Its a horrible disease and horrible to watch. Ive done a lot of growth since coming to this board. Wishing you peace and serenity.

(((StormyYoda))). What more can I say, keep coming back. There's so much to give and receive from this group, our ESHs. No one will truly understand, as they say birds of the same feather flock together LOL! Keep the faith!!! God loves us and is taking care of us :)

Blindsided whern i was living with active alcocholism i attended one meetings a day for over 2 years It helped.