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Post Info TOPIC: Drama and Trauma


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3496
Date:
Drama and Trauma


I'm so over it at the moment.  I swear I really don't understand people at times.   Isn't there a song that says why you gotta be so mean?  I think in some ways I am so cynical and other ways I'm so totally naïve.  I haven't decided where I fit at times .. I do not know how to play the game whatever that is .. it's such a waste of energy. 

SO you know the whole be careful what you wish for statement .. the lady at work who was driving me crazy literally like 2 days ago up and quit.  I was so shell shocked it was crazy.  This brought a lot of turmoil into my life because I'm moving within the office .. with no direction and it brings up a plethora of insecurities about job/financial stress and so on.  I'm trying to just operate as normal and breath through things vs getting tied up in knots over things. 

This brings me to my next wish .. ok I'm ready .. 130 million dollar jackpot please!  LOL! 

I'm only partly kidding although I have told my HP that I understand that money doesn't buy happiness I'm ok if He wants to test that situation out.  Not a problem in the least .. LOL!

The only thing I can do is put my best foot forward and keep trying to do the best I can .. which I have started to do little things for myself and take a stand about certain things .. LOL .. it may mean me out of a job sooner than later .. you know I have decided I can be respectful and not a doormat at the same time .. my claws do not need to be fully extracted to make my truth statements. 

My boss has taken notice and might not be happy about it .. you know I can plan my exit and that's what I'm doing. 

Honestly still loving Texas a LOT!!  I love my boots .. LOL!  I got another beautiful pair plus I'm wearing little girl red boots, they are my favs, I will get a big girl pair of red boots .. these are amazing though .. lol. 

 The work situation is stressful .. every week for the last 3 weeks it has been someone's last day.  I will miss the ladies who are now gone.  That hurts my heart .. what I love is these are women who I will be friends with for a LONG time to come!  Or I hope so at least. 

The best part of this job have been the friendships I have made along the way.  These are amazing women .. so I feel like maybe that's what I needed .. discovering my self esteem (not ego there is a difference) .. I still have my wonderful women friendships in my old state as well .. I am very blessed. 

I'm really trying to stay out of the mix of everything and no it's not easy. 

Today my daughter has a date with the boy who we ran into at the store .. lol .. I'm over the moon for her.  (who says mother doesn't know .. LOL)

She keeps saying .. mom this is the first boy I have really liked who likes me back!  In some ways it breaks my heart because she's such a great kid, I wish she saw herself through my eyes.  He's really a sweet young man and I couldn't be more thrilled for her.  The parents are coming to pick her up with him and my boy and I will meet them there .. lol.  I did tease her about that one.  My son says ohhh mom .. are we sitting behind them .. LOL! 

Anyway, this has really already been a start to a great weekend.  :)

Funny note .. my X's wife stepped in it big time with me and I behaved .. now .. I do notify her when he's late .. sorry not my problem and since this has been proven if I do not say anything it goes on and on, PLUS I have a right to know if he's late. 

I sent a nice text thanking her for the insurance information and letting her know I do have the cards and so on.  I apologized because I forgot where I had put them .. lol .. totally my bad and I was not rude about the cards .. I was angry about the insurance and not knowing how it works (I tried to express that as I was trying to take my daughter to the Urgent Care).  Well, I added X didn't pay on time and because of that I don't get money until much later in the week it creates a hardship .. I have been saying this now for months.  Well for the most part she ignores my pleas or statements about a common courtesy text stating he's late.  LMAO .. you should have seen what I got back it was nasty and unnecessary.  Basically stated that since he got it there on Friday it was not late.  Umm .. no in the State of IL if it's not posted before 3PM it doesn't go until Monday.  I did not say a word back because I know the law.  I even asked the people at the court house when it is considered late .. as soon as it's after 3PM. 

So I started laughing because at least I got notified that he's going to be late.  I have not responded and I will Monday because the mode I'm in trust me I would say what I mean and mean what I say .. LMAO .. it would not be nice.  Even I know my limits .. this is totally one of them and I do not want to look like an giant donkey. 

Anyway, I am going to thank her for sending the note .. I know it killed her to do that and I have a feeling that she's figured out that she was wrong in her previous statement.  Plus I also have a feeling that X has been lying since that's what he does.   

I try to ignore the situation as much as possible.  LOL .. oi ..

S :)

 

 

 



__________________

Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism.  If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown

"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1258
Date:

Hugs, lady! I hear you on the financial stress stuff and job stuff. But, both of us have been able to find work, make friends, provide for our children, and we keep putting one foot in front of the other. Keep trusting your HP!

As for stuff from your ex being late. Mine is ALWAYS late and I won't go after wage garnishment on him right now because I don't want to jeopardize him balking at reimbursing me for tennis expenses or car insurance or whatever. My child support check was postmarked February 4th, I didn't get it until the 9th. It was due on the 1st. Happens every month. I just adjust my expectations and move on. At least he pays, right?

Good luck ignoring that situation with your X. I have a hard time biting my tongue as well, but I've learned which battles I need to pick, you know?

__________________
Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1661
Date:

Serenity, good to hear from you!! I am dealing with the same thing at work. Everyone is leaving!!
Job demands are horrible and now we have a new director as well. One-Day-At-A-Time is my motto.
I do hope you win a lottery, even if it is a small one smile.  

Sounds like your kids are doing well and am wishing you all well.

{{HUGS}}



__________________

 "Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it

does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown

Debbie



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 11569
Date:

Serenity - so good to see you......change is hard - very hard and I used to get really sad when awesome folks I worked with moved out/on. I learned through this program that part of that sadness was genuine but a part of it and the anxiety that came was fear of who would come next. As much as I try to trust HP and focus on the present, my mind tends to project the next person will be horrible, unfriendly, etc.

I had a sponsor remind me that I was that new person time and time again.....and there you have it - it's my way of thinking at times that created my biggest issues - between my ears! I'm also one who get's fearful that an increase in workload will become a permanent thing if my boundaries are not adequate. I haven't had to set work boundaries in a long while, but I was not very good at it back in the day. I will let it build up and then I would address with emotion vs. making it about the business.

So - huge (((hugs))) to you - just breathe and like above - trust HP one day at a time. I'm so grateful I haven't had to deal with an Ex and/or a new woman of the Ex....I am certain that would negatively affect my serenity, attitude and more if I weren't guarded with program tools!

Keep coming back when you can - I'm a boot gal too....love my boots and love wearing them!

__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3968
Date:

Awesome how you just keep figuring it out and glad to hear the kids are doing well! I get child support late sometimes and I hate how much I have had to rely on it, but I am glad hopefully not for much longer, My oldest is a senior this year and time is just flying by. Sending you love and support!

__________________

Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666

" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."

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