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Went out for dinner with friends tonight. AH is doing what alcoholics do. Drinking too much then trying to start a fight with me when we get home. Sat back and let me deal with the bill at dinner then angry because he feels I paid too much and it was my fault the last time too you know that we paid too much for dinner and our friends (our only close friends) are taking advantage of us and blah blah blah. None of it makes any damn sense whatsoever. So instead of arguing with someone talking absolute nonsense I came on here to post and vent and get it out of my system. I refuse to engage in an argument with someone who is drunk and talking crazy. I refuse to discuss this issue tonight. So his solution is to go out back and smoke and drink and be angry by himself. I've been out of sorts all day and now I know why. I knew we were going out with these friends. Some of our worst fights have been after nights out with these friends. My AH drinks too much and acts like a jackass every freakin time. My pre alanon behavior was to argue and fight and get all worked up and stay up until all hours of the night. Trying to reason with the unreasonable. trying to rationalize with the insanity of the alcoholism. Anyway thanks for listening.
I'm so sorry this happens. Gosh, sounds like your AH is no fun to even go out with! Is it just this other couple or is it everyone where he becomes like this? If it is only this couple, I would stay clear of dates with them, it's not worth it! You've got to keep your peace about you---that's this program! And we ALL need help doing it!
(((KT2015))) - great job coming here to vent. That sounds like such a better plan than engaging with him in an argument and/or analyzing 'it' until the cows come home (that's what I used to do).....try to breathe deep and remember that what he does and how he acts has nothing to do with you.....I am sorry this evening went the way it did - I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers!
Keep picking up the tools and keep focusing on you as best you can. This disease is maddening - no doubt - I believe you can rise above this with the program and steps!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
