The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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level.
I was so excited. Number 1 I'm finally over this flu that hit me earlier in the week and I feel like a human again. Number 2, I got a new job and I start on March 1st! This new job pays about 20% more than what I was making before but it's only a 9 mile drive instead of a 32 mile drive. That, in effect, saves me about $100 in gas and also wear and tear on my car, etc. AND, I get about 1.5 hours of my day back, yay!
Here's the 'you lose some' part: My son is getting his driver's license next week and I called the insurance company to get a quote. It's going to cost me $117 more a month to just add him as a driver. If he gets a car, that will be even more. I was afraid to ask them when I called for the quote. Granted I can ask my ex to chip in and he 'might' do it begrudgingly. My son will also be required to get a job once tennis season at school ends so he will be hopefully working this summer.
My ex can't make up his mind on whether he wants to buy himself a new car and give his car to our son, or if he wants us to buy him a car and then we split insurance costs, etc. He's making it difficult for me because I have an opportunity to buy a car for my son soon, but my ex won't get back to me with an answer on what he wants to do. One minute he wants to buy a new house and he goes out looking at houses. The next day he's telling our son that he wants to buy a newer car and they go shopping for cars. But, he won't commit to anything (go figure) and it's driving me bonkers. He keeps saying, "I'm not sure, I don't know....etc etc" ARGH
So, basically some of my savings will go out the window. Sigh. Right now, I'm struggling to stay on budget because I think my rent is too high and I know I need to move to a smaller place next year when my lease is up. This new job won't put me up for a promotion until I've been there for a year, but there is potential for growth and for me to get my financial services licensing again, etc. It just may take 2-3 years for me to find my niche and for them to see where I fit best in their small corporate structure. It's a small financial advisory office but they manage about 4K client accounts and they need help. My experience was on the other side of things where I worked for a brokerage firm servicing financial advisors and their client accounts housed with us.
I'm starting to get really worried about my financial future. I have to dip into savings every month. For a while it seemed like I was covering about 1/2 my expenses with savings and half with cash on hand. I've made some changes, consolidated some credit cards, negotiated a better price for my cell phones, etc. I am going to cancel cable soon, too, since they keep jerking me around with crazy rates, etc. I knew there would be challenges. I knew this would be a tough transition to get back into the workplace. I just wish I was more experienced and could find something that paid better than what I'm finding out there. I know I just need to do my time and that things may turn around. I have a lot of fear wrapped up into, "what if I find myself living in a van down by the river eating macaroni and cheese and tuna casserole every day?" mentality? I know I need to turn my thinking around and some days I don't think about it all. But, after getting off the phone today with the insurance company and feeling like I was in shock, I really hit a wall.
Could use some encouragement. I know I will be OK for about 2 years. After that, it's a God thing. Well, it's always a God thing and I know I need to trust Him always.
Oh, also I could use some prayers for another situation. My boyfriend is moving in...sort of.....Hmmm, well, we'll see how many nights he winds up here. He rented out his house too soon and his new house isn't done being built so he's basically 'homeless', lol. I told him he could stay here a few nights a week. He called me earlier and said, "Hey, can you clear some space in the closet in your guest bedroom for some of my stuff?" Hmmm. Just how many nights is he planning on staying here, LOL? I think I'd be OK with him here all the time but I have to admit that I've gotten used to my space, to not having 'men stuff' in my bathroom, and other oddities that men seem to have about their bathroom habits, haha. My son is OK with him being here as long as my guy sleeps in the guest bedroom when they are both here. They get along well and my boyfriend is a laid back guy and is pretty mellow. I'm the high strung controlling one so it will really be a test for me. He is so laid back about the whole proposition and I'm freaking out wondering if we'll hate each other after spending too much time together, although we spend a ton of time together anyway as it is. UGH....I'll keep y'all posted on my antics as I move forward! Wish me luck~
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
loved your post. i have a lot of financial worries because my job picture is not good and im only relying on my savings. meanwhile,soon to be xah is in serious money troubles. he hasnt stopped drinking yet,now in rehab..probally wont go with it. his sister found him half dead in the house last week. im praying to hp and cutting expenses and my appt is too expensive also so next dec when lease is up..maybe things will be changed
(((Andromeda))) - hugs to you and congrats. on the new job!!! Woo-hoo and way to go! I can also be a worrier and my best tool when I start to freak out about things is bringing myself back to the present. You've come so, so far and that's not by accident. You appear (as I and many others) to be resourceful and intelligent. I believe when you truly need to worry, there will be an answer right in front of you...
So, trust HP and stay present. You're doing all that you can and it's going to be OK!
Celebrate the new job!! Keep coming back and breathe!!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Congratulations Andromeda, (((((hugs))))) Your new job sounds like an ideal place where you can learn, but also contribute with your experience from the other side of the fence as well - what a great combination!
Is the boyfriend contributing to running costs while he is with you? It just kind of read to me as a possible HP, in the moment, easing!!
WOW!! See how much can change in 90 days!! Sooooo HAPPY FOR YOU!!!
Ehe .. don't sweat the small stuff. Don't make a knee jerk reaction out of an emotional response.
I'll make a suggestion of setting a boundary on the car issue, if you don't hear from your ex by XYZ date then you will do ABC, present him with 1/2 the bill after that and be nice about it obviously .. if he pays for 1/2 great if not oh well you are soooo good at all this financial stuff you will figure it all out!
Hugs S :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Milkweed, my boyfriend is looking to sell his extra car to us for a deal! He paid $5k for it (it's an older Audi A6) and he put a about $1500 into new tires, brakes, etc. He's looking to sell it to me for $4K, which is below book value. I'm not sure I need to charge him any rent or anything, lol, since I've spent at least 2-3 nights a week at his place for the last 10 months eating his food, using his water, etc. He would only have to be here for about 6 weeks. He just brought a bunch of stuff over last night.
My stupid flu spiked a fever on me last night again and I feel like crap AGAIN. I would love to get back to normal living but it's given me time to get some things done, lol. I did hear back from my ex. He is willing to split the costs but he wants the car checked by our mechanic before he helps me pay for 1/2. He also made a snarky comment about how our son needs to quit messing with his hair and checking himself out in his phone,etc. Umm, I agree. Our son has become obsessive about his hair as he's been growing it out. It's driving both of us nuts! At least my XAH and I can agree on something.
__________________
Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
Congratulations on the better and closer job!!! I do hope you kick the flu and feel better and will say a prayer for you and your son for good results in locating the right car and insurance!!
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
Oh....bummer for the flu relapse! My hope is that you feel better soon......things always look worse for me when I don't feel well.
I got a chuckle out of pinkchip - river view with mac-n-cheez - priceless vision!!!
(((Hugs))) to all!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
He thinks he's funny. He forgets that I know where he lives(well, approximately, lol). I may just have to drag him to my riverfront view and make him some Kraft just for the heck of it!
I know that this will all pass, but I am getting overwhelmed. I'm upside down a bit on my car loan too, and I hate that feeling even though I intended to keep it for a VERY long time. I technically could pay off the car but I don't want to until I have a better salary in hand. I'm still going to be lower than what I'd like to be as to breaking even on expenses vs income.
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
