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Post Info TOPIC: Are you grateful for alcoholism?


~*Service Worker*~

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Are you grateful for alcoholism?


I kind of am!! I know it sounds ridiculous. Its such a painful, taker this disease. I am grateful though. If this disease hadn't taken me to my own 'bottom' I would never have saught help in this wonderful fellowship and I would still be one of the walking dead. Living without living. Walking around with my eyes closed in my own misery. thanks for reading.x



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~*Service Worker*~

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Hey there El-Cee.....boy - I could write a novel on your question.....and my experience is a bit different as a double-winner. I can honestly say that I am grateful for the disease in how my life has improved in every way. I have a positive attitude, a spiritual existence and a framework by which I can find peace, serenity and joy whenever I want!

However, as I watch those I love suffer without recovery, it sometimes takes my breath away. When I hear of anyone passing from this world from this disease, it pains my heart. I so wish it was a bit less perplexing in how it attacks the mind and soul of those afflicted - making recovery more common.

It is a dreadful disease, and for me - I would not be where I was without the disease. For me, myself and I - grateful. Seeing the devastation and internal struggle of those I love, not so much...

Great topic!!

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 



~*Service Worker*~

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Great question and one I have thought about a lot. I share Iamheres sentiments in that seeing the devastation in loved ones lives is very difficult to witness yet I am grateful for the miracles, growth, spirituality that both myself and some of my loved ones have found through recovery. It is very much a double edged sword. Great food for thought though.

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Senior Member

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As a double winner, yes I am grateful for my alcoholism. Working my recovery has given me a life I never thought possible.

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I don't know that I can say I am grateful for alcoholism, as it is such a dreadful disease whose main purpose is to destroy people mentally, physically and spiritually, but I can say that I am grateful for the opportunities that arose from the effects of this dreadful disease. I have had opportunities to grow and change my mind about a lot of things. I found a better way to take care of myself. I see the world differently, with a softer heart holding more compassion and empathy. I judge less and care more.

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Bethany

"Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be."  Abe Lincoln



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Im grateful for alcholism only for the fact that it exposed to me my patterns of behavior. it also pointed out the kind of men i pick and how i act with them. i tend to pick imature men who havnt developed their idenity,need mothering and then i resent that they are not taking care of me after all i do for them. i lose myself in them and ignore me.

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ALYCE R KINIKIN


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No, No, No. It is a horrible disease. It takes away the good in a person and leaves the bad. It is full of denial and pain. It destroys people and relationships and families.

I am grateful for AlAnon, though.

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maryjane


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Yes i too love alanon

i hate the disease of alcoholism and all
Its dysfunction. Its scary how far reaching
It truly is and what it does to otherwise
Good normal people.

((((( elcee)))))





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Veteran Member

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You know what they say, a dark cloud CAN have a silver lining. That's how I feel about this horrible disease of alcoholism that is claiming my AH and AS's personhood. It is robbing them of being good people, the people God created them to be. It is lessening them, and ruining their bodies, souls, minds, etc. Horrible to witness! But through it all, it has made me utterly dependent on my higher power which is awesome! And which I am eternally grateful for. Without suffering like I surely have, I would not be so in tune with God. For this I am so thankful! What beautiful responses everyone above!!!! Awesome post!

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Inga Mattson


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It is totally destroying my marriage.  That's sad.  



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Inga Mattson


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Thanks to all who shared on this topic... As I reflected on the question, I have such a different response today than when I first heard the concept of being grateful for the alcoholic in our life. I was very new to AlAnon when someone read C2C p. 304. I remember being in awe of the concept, realizing that I was a long, long way from that kind of strength of mind and perception.

P. 304 is listed under the C2C heading Gratitude, and has several other strong readings (p. 139) that help remind me of the power of perspective, focus, and gratitude. The wisdom I found at AlAnon changed my entire worldview, and it was in desperate need of changing. Not just towards alcohol and my qualifier, but to everything in my life.

I am grateful for the lesson I learned from trying to fight the effects of alcoholism on my own: I am powerless. Alcohol was the only thing I encountered that led me to seek answers outside of myself, that led me to a program of recovery and a spiritual awakening.

I learned that Alcohol did not take away my serenity, I let it go. I can have serenity with or without the effects of alcoholism in my life, if I practice acceptance and experience gratitude. I am incredibly grateful for AlAnon...



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Paul

"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives."  - Paths to Recovery 



~*Service Worker*~

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HI Elcee,

I guess I will just say that I am grateful for Al Anon. Plenty of people never find it, even when there is alcoholism. And alcohol is dreadful in so many ways as far as I am concerned. MIL came over last night to our house with vodka on her breath. Kept giving me mini-fits because most times when I smell vodka in my house, it means that my wife is lying face down on the couch incoherent.

With our tools I could reassure myself that everything was OK and my reactions were controlled by my responses.  I sure wish there was an easier way to get Al Anon benefits without having alcohol involved.

 

Kenny



-- Edited by KennyFenderjazz on Monday 15th of February 2016 01:09:44 PM

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~*Service Worker*~

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Hi Kenny, I don't think we can get to alanon without the disease taking us to our bottom. For me the disease challenged everything in my life and it wasn't until I finally surrendered, admitted I was powerless that I got help and the promises have came true.x

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In many ways I am. Without marrying my ex I would have never found Al Anon and never questioned myself the way I've done since.

Sometimes if you drive a damaged car at low speeds and turn up the radio, you don't notice the damage so much. When you marry an alcoholic, they slam your foot down on the accelerator until your car either crashes or falls apart. I finally broke down, and only realize after the fact how much I needed to.

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No.

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I can see both sides of the spectrum, some of the bad memories and of course the passing of my x husband a few years ago. I am so sorry for that.
The good side is that it allowed me to think about a career in the alcohol and drug field as a counselor. If I can assist even one person that will payback for all the times I didn't show enough compassion toward my alcoholic husband the times I was angry with him and the times I was rough on him when I could have been kinder. I see these things because he is no longer here.

I don't know if grateful is the word. Just being able to see that there are grey area's, nothing is black and white, nothing is grateful or ungrateful. I prefer to take the middle road , and keep moving on this journey and let life unfold. I have great appreciation for my life . My hope that the Alcoholic would have been able to see that his life was so precious and valuable and that the universe gave him so many chances. Appreciation is important.

Bettina



-- Edited by Bettina2 on Tuesday 16th of February 2016 04:48:59 AM



-- Edited by Bettina2 on Tuesday 16th of February 2016 04:49:57 AM

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~*Service Worker*~

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Seems to have touched a few nerves this one. I understand. The idea of being grateful for the alcoholics in my life and this disease was crazy to me. However, my life has changed so much through this recovery program that I can't help being grateful. Nothing else would have gotten me here, nothing. I would have died without having lived if this disease hadn't taken me to the point of surrender.x

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~*Service Worker*~

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I'm not really there yet El-cee - I still wish that it didn't have to be that way. I am grateful for the lessons though, and still open to learning more. x

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~*Service Worker*~

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Hey Millwood, glad your still here working it. I don't think I would be here either if I was still living with active drinking and the challenges that maybe still to come for me with my son could shake the gratitude I have . I've got this program though and il always be grateful for that x

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I can relate to a lot of the feelings posted here on this thread. Yes on one hand I am grateful- grateful for my alcoholic, grateful for the life lessons. Without them I would not be where or who I am, and today I do love me. I love that I get to belong to a group of people who have common threads that bind us together. I am grateful I get to walk the path I am on today. I dont know if I would of gotten here if it weren't for those around me who suffer from the disease and helped bring me to my knees and ask for help.

I also hate the disease, watching it cripple families, people dying, homes shattered. Alcoholism does not discriminate, it does not just affect the drinker.. it takes hostages, so I suppose for me, while I am grateful for my life today - grateful for a program that offers tools to sanity and living... I hate the disease too.

Thanks for letting me share.
Katsfree

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Kats

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you -  Lewis B. Smedes



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I hate alcoholism. It's like sitting around watching my DH slowly killing himself - self destructing - and there is jack all I can do to stop it. It's such an evil disease.

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Belinda


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I am grateful for Al anon though. Honestly I think I was in need of recovery on my own before I even had an alcoholic in my life. Early on in my marriage, my AH had me convinced that any problem was all my fault. After I started learning about alcoholism, I finally started to see that while I am very flawed, everything is not my fault. I guess it did take alcoholism to get me to a point where I realized I need help. I'm just growing weary of the active alcoholism. Tired. I do need to start being more grateful for EVERYTHING in my life...some days it just seems so much easier than others. This was a good thread - I am grateful for all of y'all!

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