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Post Info TOPIC: alcoholic drank again


Senior Member

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Posts: 290
Date:
alcoholic drank again


I am coming to the point of acceptance slowly. The alcoholic got drunk last night again but I did not care. I had a good night sleep. He came into bed with me and kept talking in my ear. I finally got mad and told him to go to sleep. He would not of course. I finally got up and went to the other bedroom and had a sound sleep and told him clearly, do not bother me. He respected my boundaries. For that I am grateful. He did not start drinking till the afternoon so that has been progress. Before he would drink as soon as he awoke. I am starting to stand up for myself now and setting boundaries with him. That is huge for me. I am making progress and I could feel it. I feel stronger and more focused than before. I do not feel afraid of him and accepting of his lies anymore. I know the truth. He goes back to work on Monday and I am so grateful, as the economy has hit a huge snag here and there is a lot of unemployment here. Its bad. I am so grateful he has a job to return to. I am working hard on keeping the focus on myself and setting boundaries with him and letting him know I am serious. I am working on it. He has said to me he wants a woman that is like his mother-nurturing and loving. He says he loved his mother a lot and wants a mother in his life.  I said, your grown up now and you have to accept what you get. I am trying to be the best me I can and I have my limits. Its said that he wants a mother at 55 years old. I severed my ties with my mother at 15 years old and been on my own since, trying to find a way to live. Its been a challenging road but  I am doing the best I can. I am grateful that I have this program. I am making progress by just focusing on myself and reading al-anon literature daily. It keeps me grounded and not focused on the alcoholic bf. I am grateful as he is now sleeping of his drunk and I am here reading and getting stronger. Thanks for all of you for being here. I see progress, as before he would be up for days on end drinking non stop. He drank last night, got drunk and went to bed. That to me is progress. I must be setting a good example. I have to see the good that is happening rather than the bad or I would be a mess. I am thankful for the progress.                



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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2200
Date:

Hey Joker, ((((hugs)))),

Wow, that is great progress and it feels good just reading your post so I hope you are standing mighty tall.

He wants a mother in his life???!! Of course!!! Honestly, sometimes words fail me! (And yes, my AH also wanted a mother but I didn't apply for that job!)

I'm thankful for the progress too.

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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1896
Date:

It's a process to come to acceptance, keep up the journey, you are doing well.

Kenny

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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 11569
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(((Joker))) - progress is all we seek, moment by moment - doing something different with the intent of changes to the outcome. I love that you practiced self-care, and removed yourself - the reward was sleep!!! For me, my sleep/rest are so very important as I am way more emotional when I lack that.

Great job of taking care of you and working on your program.

Keep coming back!!

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 



Senior Member

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Posts: 247
Date:

So glad that you were able to see results from your practice of the Al-Anon tools. It is rewarding in so many ways, sleep being one of them! Good job working the program Joker! Your progress gives strength and hope to the rest of us.

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Bethany

"Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be."  Abe Lincoln



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1662
Date:

Joker you are doing the next right thing,
Then the next. It is a process be gentle
And patient with yourself.

Self love and Self care and a power greater
than you Are your best friends.

I found i had to be feel safe to be safe

Keep going to ftf meetings, as many as
possible. Talk to your lawyer, keep the focus
On you and your recovery and growth.

((((((( joker))))))




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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2725
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Wow Joker, what an amazing job you are doing in recovery! I now accept that my A will drink, my A will lie, and I cannot change anyone else. ODAT with alanon has taught me how to love myself and be happy, no matter what my A is doing. You are on the right path and can walk a journey to your Serenity. Keep coming back! Lyne

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Lyne



Veteran Member

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Posts: 39
Date:

(((Joker))) I couldn't be happier for you! Progress is what we can measure and it seems to me, that you are making it! I love coming here reading about the progress the members are making. Once I accepted Alanon, then, and only then, have I begun to see progress. I'm glad that, maybe some of your examples, are rubbing off on him, as well. You are a MIP! 😋

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KathyRN

"A PROBLEM IS ONLY A PROBLEM, IF YOU CHOOSE TO SEE IT AS A PROBLEM!"



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 13696
Date:

 

 

 

((((Joker)))) Might it be that the progress you are having is causing a change with him?  I also learned to progress and own my own in the program.  Keep on doing it for you.  In support.  ((((hugs)))) smile



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