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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Excepting my a/d bf
Post Info TOPIC: Excepting my a/d bf
lookingup


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Excepting my a/d bf
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dohdohnono

I know how to argue and win most arguments but this time I told my drug addicted bf that I wasn't his type or was he my type person that he needed to go back to his type gf that loved her drugs to,he said he didn't want a woman that done drugs so I said I didn't want or need a man that done drugs and that run them up his arm in my bathroom everyday,he said that was his medicine not drugs,so with him saying that set me on fire of course and on the couch he went cause I not in a nice way but told him angrily that it's not medicine it's dope that you run up your arms in my bathroom I pay all bills here and he don't work a lick he goes out and hustles and trades few dollars here and there how ever,he works some around my home has redone my whole bathroom me and him both and got big court next thurs.that he will he says prolly at the least get 10 yrs prison for slinging dope before he got locked up he come out a better person lots better after 4 moths in jail under a 1000 dollar bond he is a great guy ,he says he has tried and tried to do good toward me since he has been out of jail but I have soon many resentments in me from before he got locked up of being treated like crap it was a cycle with me for 2 yrs of his abuse I'd kick him out thinking every time it was for good then end up taking him right back a100 times over,I just hate it when he calls it his medicine or he has to get someone else some medicine like making it all ok and it's nothing I've always been told that dope is anything non prescription that's controlled substance and that a junky runs it up their arms and live under bridges a lot of them not all live like that but can't keep or hold a job and have to have someone like me to live with ,it goes smooth for a while then it gets bad like a roller coaster and drama a lot always looking over his shoulders for the law,and seems like he stays hid out in my house doing really nothing,he says he loves me but I told him I love a lot of people,but I'm not inlove with none of them,and the lies lies every breath just about.but it will be over with next Thursday when they lock him back up,he got a lot of time to do,I feel stupid typing all this mess out cause we just got into it and prolly I'll be back in love with him tomorrow I feel like I've just been playing along with him with my eyes closed,dancing his dance,and I'm sick of not haveing my own life knowing this is just a several years wasted off my life fooling with such a person I must have SSS on my forehead..........lu



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Do the next right thing~

ONE DAY AT A TIME!

 

 
Jerry F


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Welcome home sister you have learned a great deal and have painted a true picture of an addiction relationship and family.  Is this the end for you?  How can we help you to stay on your side of the fence, close the gate with the sign "Druggies do not enter"!!  I hear your intention about staying free from the drug lifestyle and do you have a home group in Al-Anon to keep you free?  Do you have the rest of the tools like a sponsor and literature and service position in your group?   This works...when you work it and after this post I am really pulling for you.   Keep coming back.  ((((hugs)))) smile



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milkwood


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((((((Hugs)))))) Looking Up,

Your feelings come through so clearly in your writing Looking Up, what a crazy making situation and yet you can describe it with eloquence and understanding, I get it. Sending prayers and strength as you get a sense of your own path. We are here for you.

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hotrod


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((lookingUp)) I agree with the other MIP family members , you sound very clear and determined in your decision. Keep on taking care of yourself , stay in reality and do remember that addiction is progressive and chronic.
You are worth a good life. Keep working the program including the Steps and you wiil be free.

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Iamhere


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(((lookingup))) - you painted a photo in my brain of the cycle of 'the dance'. It is like a roller-coaster and the best news - you can get off the ride and you can choose to not get back on. As those above me have suggested, you appear determined to have a different life - that's the surrender part. Now, one moment at a time, one day at a time, collect and use the program tools - fellowship, meetings, literature, sponsor, steps.....and choose a different path with tons of love and support.

I am pulling for you also. We work hard to look at the past but not dwell on it. We work hard to plan for the future, but not expect it to go as desired. We get the tools and support to handle everything thrown our way, one day at a time.

Keep coming back - you are not alone!

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
lookingup


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Yes I have a great sponsor and I'm been staying faithful at reading my ctc everyday and doing my a&g lists everyday,and the just for today,started the step one but got really busy with a remodeling job,and like I mentioned my drug addict bf,will be gone coming next Thursday for 10 yrs day for day,in prison,everybody around says that's what it's gonna take to keep me from him is haveing cement inbetween us so there's no getting to him.it hurts ,it hurts so bad cause even though he is like that he is a very loving,hardworking,master minded man,and we have aloft of fun times together such as he is full of hummer,positive ways and attitude.energetic at that not a lazy bone in him and he is always wanting to please,but then there's his horrible addiction,and spending lots of time in my bathroom when I've plainly told him to go elsewhere with his useing needles,my program is most important right now ,and I'm just hopping for the best for me right now,I feel like I'm a b****,worst ever ,I can't fix him or control him or can I cure him,yes Jerry I Ty for offering all the help I can get I'm sure gonna need it,for I also have a addict sister living here with me also,omg,what in the world was my thinking,lol,2 against one ,one being me and me only and y'all here is all I've got to even have or get a little bit of my sanity,I'm taking lots more bc powders,and nerve Medes have went up ,yes I'm a wreck,but I know I can pull out of this one min. At a time,tools,alanon lit,sponsor,and getting on my step work all this with my hp at my side ,I'm prolly be a blubbering snotty mess once he leaves for good,but again I will survive and be lots better off,and be able to dive in more to my recovery,if my health don't break on me before,I'm keeping stomach upsets,and dizzy now,and lots of unhealthy things are going on with me just lately,I think a lot to is he has come up missing for a few days here and there and I know he had an girlfriend that he was crazy about she is a user to,but they can't support each other both are dependent on ppl like me to keep a roof over their heads,that was what my fight with him started off was about the other woman,I'm a jealous hearted person,but heck what does that matter I can't control that either,lol,he is gonna do what he is gonna do ,it's what am I gonna do wether he uses or cheats or not.lol,my life and I'm gonna claim it back,ain't got many yrs left seeing how half my life is already over get in your 50s things tend to take on a whole new light.im gonna leave it here for now for I'm so tired,got to lighten my load for awhile till I can reup on energy.

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Do the next right thing~

ONE DAY AT A TIME!

 

 
milkwood


~*Service Worker*~

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I remember feeling as though I was addicted to my husband, my mind was all on him 24/7! For me it is really important to change channels - to find things that I enjoy doing and that absorb my attention, which is why I started painting again (it was something that I loved when I was a teenager, and hey, turns out I love it still!). You are right, you can survive this. I'm looking forward to hearing you list your assets and about the steps you want to take to claim back your life - once you've had a good rest! Sleep tight tonight, be gentle, LookingUp. ((((Hugs))))

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